Vignettes
by Lilah Brown
Summary: A few short vignettes in the lives of Buck and Erin.
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**Number One**

_Slam!_

Buck and Ike jumped as they heard Emma slam the back door again. That was the third time in an hour. Following her across the yard with their eyes, they observed her walk to the clothesline and begin hanging the wash with jerky, angry motions. She also appeared to be grumbling. Every once in while she would stop and throw her hands up in the air, like she was fed up with an imaginary friend.

"Wonder what's gotten into her," Buck thought aloud.

_*She's been this way all afternoon,*_ Ike added. _*I would have thought she'd be happy. She got a letter from her brother and you know those always make her happy.*_

"She got a letter from her brother? Erin's father?"

Ike nodded. _*Why's that so important?*_

"Well, I told Erin I wanted to write her father to ask for his blessing to ask Erin to marry me, but she said she wanted to write him first."

_*His blessing to ask to marry her? A little late for that, isn't it?* _Ike signed with laugh and a smile. _*You got married a month ago!*_

"I mean in the white way, Ike," Buck replied impatiently. He and Erin had married according to Kiowa custom three weeks earlier, but they had talked and agreed to have a long engagement in the white world. Buck loved his job and he knew the minute he married he would be fired. He and Erin were not in a rush to the altar; like Ike had said, they were already married. To the both of them it was as binding a marriage as one where they had said vows with a preacher. Erin had already asked Buck to marry her, but Buck still wanted to do things in the traditional way, including asking her father for his blessing.

_SLAM! _

It seemed impossible, but Emma had managed to close the back door even louder than before.

"I'm going to go see if Erin's father wrote her back."

_*You're going in there with Emma madder than a wet hen?!*_

"I'll avoid her, but if you hear me screaming please rescue me."

_*No! You're on your own!*_

With a chuckle, Buck headed toward the front door of the house. The last he knew, Erin sat in the front room, mending several of the riders' shirts. As he walked, he imagined what it would be like to walk up to his own house one day, with Erin—his wife—waiting for him. He sighed in contentment as he reached the door.

"Erin?" he whispered through the screen door, praying he wouldn't find Emma instead.

There was no answer, so he felt safe enough to gingerly open the screen door and peak around. Neither woman was to be found. Buck entered the house, walking as silently as possible and whispering Erin's name.

He found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table, weeping as Emma held her in her arms. The angry look was still on Emma's face and she looked ready to kill someone. Buck's first impulse was to turn tail and run, but when he heard Erin sob, had to know why his girl was crying and what he needed to do to fix it. _I'm going to KILL whoever it was that made her cry, _he thought.

It said a lot that he was able to sneak up on her-Erin always knew when he was coming, no matter how stealthy he fancied himself to be. Emma looked up at him as he came closer, and Buck could see the tears in her eyes, both of anger and heartbreak. Emma sighed. "Not now," she mouthed. Buck almost ignored her, but he remembered this was Erin's aunt and his surrogate mother. When Emma jerked her head toward the door, Buck decided to listen and tiptoed out of the house. Now he was really worried.

* * *

Two hours had passed and it was now time for supper. Buck had spent every minute of those two hours trying to figure out what made Erin cry. In the time he had known her, Buck had never seen her cry, not even when she spoke about her mother's death. As the group made their way to the house, Buck thought more about the situation. Emma obviously knew what was bothering her, but would she tell Buck if he asked?

Entering the kitchen, he and Ike immediately went to the seats close to Teaspoon, down the table from Emma and Erin. When he looked to Erin's seat, he it was empty. Concern must have shown on his face since Emma immediately spoke.

"Erin isn't feeling well tonight so she's going to eat supper in her room," she said, looking directly at Buck. Buck couldn't decide if she was trying to tell him to go to her or to stay exactly where he was. He decided it was the latter.

As they ate, Buck's mind flew. For the first time, he began to think Erin was upset over something _he_ did. _What could I have done? _He went over and over the events of the past few days. He had brought her flowers, they had visited their shack, regular meals and visiting—_no, there's nothing unusual_, he thought. What could have upset her so much?

After the meal the other riders and Teaspoon trickled out, but Buck stayed behind. Taking his dishes to Emma, he prepared to bear the brunt of her anger, because he was not going anywhere until he spoke with his wife.

"Emma-" he began, just before she spoke.

"Go to her," Emma stated simply.

Buck nodded, needing no further encouragement. Spinning on his heel, he practically ran to Erin's room. He slid to a stop outside the door and took a deep breath. Knocking lightly, he called out to her.

"Erin? It's me. Can I come in?"

He was met with silence, but he could hear the bed creak as if someone had gotten up from it. The door slowly opened a few seconds later and Buck was met with the sight of an obviously distressed Erin, her eyes red and puffy. At least she wasn't crying anymore; instead, she had a quiet resignation about her.

"Come in," she said, opening the door all the way. Buck entered her room, careful to leave the door open. No one besides Ike knew they were married, so it wouldn't seem proper if the door wasn't open. Besides, Buck knew Emma would beat him with her big wooden spoon if she came upon the two of them in a closed room.

Buck held open his arms and Erin immediately went into them and wrapped her arms around his middle, her head resting on his chest.

"What's happened, love? Did I do something?"

"No!" Erin quickly breathed. Buck felt some relief at this.

"Then what's happened?"

Erin remained quiet. "Just hold me for now."

As he stood with Erin in his arms, Buck raked and raked his mind for what could have happened. Then, something clicked. "You heard back from your father didn't you?"

"Yes," Erin said tearfully, before a new wave of tears began.

Buck prayed to the spirits that his suspicions were wrong, but it wouldn't be the first time he had encountered this.

After a few moments Erin quieted. Buck decided to venture and figure out if his gut was right.

"Erin, what did he say?" Buck asked tentatively.

Erin took a deep breath. "That if I insist on being a dirty squaw then I can forget about being his daughter," she whispered.

Buck tightened his arms around her as his heart sunk to the ground. Why did this have to happen? He had assumed that since Erin and Emma had never blinked an eye at his Indian blood that Erin's father would be the same. _Wrong assumption_, Buck thought to himself. Now the woman he loved above all other people was suffering.

"I'm so sorry Erin," he whispered. "I never thought this would happen," he added.

"Me either," Erin replied.

After a few more seconds of silence, Buck worked up the courage to say what he felt he needed to.

"Erin, we don't have to get married in the white way. Ever. We..." Buck choked a little on the lump in his throat, "We don't even have to be married in the Kiowa way. We can just go our separate ways and no one will be the wiser."

Erin stiffened. She took a step back from his arms and looked him straight in the eye.

"Is this what you want?" she asked.

"No!" Buck quickly answered. "I want what's best for you. You love your father and you need him."

Erin's reply came out from her mouth before Buck could formulate his next thought. "I love you more, and I need you more," she said.

"But this is the way things are going to be! It will practically everyone you meet! They will all look down on you because I'm a half breed! You have no idea—"

"Buck," Erin interrupted. "Why do you think I asked Ike to teach me how to shoot?"

Buck thought back to when he found Ike and Erin in the barn a few weeks prior. She had been shooting at a target as Ike coached her. Buck was confused and a little hurt that she hadn't asked him to teach her, but then thought perhaps she was embarrassed or something. He stayed and watched the lesson, proud of her progress and talent. He'd never thought of why she felt the need to learn.

"Well, why?" she continued.

Buck combed his brain for a suitable answer. "Because it is a useful skill to have?"

Erin response was sharp. "No, it was because I _do_ have an idea of how things are. Now, I know we've both been spat upon by some of the good citizens of Sweetwater, but out of the two of us I think I'm the only one who's been called an 'Injun whore' by two drunks who then tried to kiss me."

Buck felt his blood run cold, right before an anger he hadn't known he was capable of began to boil to the surface. He was going to hunt those bastards down and _destroy_ them.

"Who were they?" he asked, his voice deadly calm.

"It doesn't matter."

"Like hell it doesn't! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

"BUCK!" Erin screamed. "It doesn't matter! Sam locked them up!"

Buck made himself take calming breaths. He had to be calm for Erin's sake, but he promised himself that he would find those men later. Ike and Sam had _a lot_ of explaining to do.

Erin began to speak softly. "I know what it's like, and I made my choice a long time ago. I chose you and the life we could have together and I have never regretted it no matter what happened. I _will_ never regret it. Please trust me. My father's words cut me more, but it is his loss of a daughter _and_ a son. He is choosing to do this and you are not at fault for other people's ignorance."

She continued, "Please don't end _us_ because you think it will make things easier for me." Erin stepped closer. "I need my husband."

Buck melted at her words. He would not try to convince her to abandon him. "I trust you," he said, before stepping forward and kissed her.

"It'll be ok, you'll see," Erin breathed.

Buck hoped so.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

_**NOTE: I see Buck as feeling unworthy of love, particularly from women. Maybe because of the way he was conceived? Anyway, I feel this feeling would have come up early in his and Erin's relationship.**_

It had been two weeks since the last Sweetwater social and Buck's head was still in the clouds. The girl of his dreams had asked him to dance, and unbeknownst to her, Buck had overheard the conversation that occurred _before_ the dancing began:

"_There's a ladies' choice, Erin. I think you should ask him to dance and let him know how you feel," Lou began._

"_Oh my, Erin, I didn't know you could turn that red!" Emma laughed._

"_He has no idea how you feel. You have to let him know so the two of you can be happy," Lou continued._

"_So red!" Emma laughed. "You look just like your father when he wanted to ask your mother to dance!"_

_From his viewpoint, Buck saw Erin shake her head. "He's wise and handsome and kind and … he's too good for me. I think I just make him tired."_

What!_ Buck thought. _Jimmy is too good for her?! That's backward—in fact, NO ONE will ever be good enough for HER._ Buck wanted to go and punch Jimmy in the nose, even though Jimmy personally had nothing to do with Erin's fears._

"_Now, none of that is true and you know it," Lou said softly. "Just ask him, Erin. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised." _

"_You'll never know unless you put your heart out there," Emma continued, her voice just as soft and encouraging as Lou's. "Your father almost didn't ask your mother, and theirs was the truest love I ever saw."_

_Erin heaved a deep breath of courage. "Okay. I'll ask. I think I'm shaking already."_

"_Don't worry! He'll say yes!" Emma exclaimed._

Jimmy'd better say yes or I will punch him to the ground_, Buck vowed, although he had no doubt the man would fall over himself to get to the dance floor with the girl of _both_ their dreams._

A sharp call from across the street brought Buck back to reality. Shaking his head clear of his daydreams, he went into the general store, intent on filling the shopping list Emma had given him. As he passed by the saloon, he noticed two old men sitting in front. He couldn't help but overhear their conversation as he walked by.

"There's that Injun that pretty white gal asked to dance at the last social!"

"Whatwas she thinkin! That'll ruin her for sure! Ain't no white man want an Injun's leavin's!"

"Aw, don't be so cruel! It was just a dance and maybe it was a dare. Better yet, she probably felt sorry for him! Anyways, a gal as pretty as that, I would have no problem following a redskin!"

Both men erupted in laughter as Buck felt a drench of ice-cold realization blanket his shoulders. _What am I doing? _Buck thought. _I am ruining her chances of making a good marriage, having a respectable husband, beautiful babies…_

Buck gritted his teeth at his thoughts. _He_ wanted to be the one she chose as her husband. _He_ wanted to bring her honor, and damnit, he couldn't stomach the thought of anyone touching her but him. _Does any of that matter if I ruin her? Especially if, spirits forbid, she just felt sorry for me? I know what I overheard that night, but what if I'm just a passing fancy? How can I take away the rest of her life? _he thought with a pang. _I'm not worth her losing everything._

Buck entered the general store. He had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

Buck sat down to supper with a feeling of dread. He'd been avoiding Erin all afternoon. When he rode into the yard with Emma's groceries, Erin had run up to the buckboard. Instead of giving her the fancy soap he'd bought her, he just said hello. When she'd thrown her arms around him and reached for a kiss, he dodged her lips and pulled her arms from around his neck. He later gave the flowers he picked for her to Emma. It hurt Buck to do so, especially when he caught sight of Erin's crestfallen face, but he knew it was for the best. He'd thought and thought and made up his mind: he had to let go of Erin for her sake. She'd get over it—over _him_. Buck didn't think he'd ever get over _her_.

During dinner he'd avoided looking down the table in Erin's direction. He'd stayed out of the conversation and retreated to the barn as soon as he could. He also underestimated Erin's tenacity (or her "Irish up," as Emma referred to it).

"Buck?"

Buck cringed as he heard the voice of the one he loved the most, yet who he needed to push away for her own good.

"Yes?" he answered with no emotion in his voice. Buck made sure he stood with his back to her—that made things a little easier.

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Alright, _enough_! Quit acting like you're stupid, or you think I am, and _tell me what's going on_!"

Buck actually felt a chill of fear for a moment_. She sounds like my mother when she knew I'd done something wrong and she wanted me to confess before disciplining me_, he thought. He took a deep breath and prayed to the spirits to give him the strength to turn her away.

"I don't think we should be … romantically involved anymore," he announced with an air of nonchalance. Buck felt proud that his voice didn't break with the tears he felt coming on. He'd always been emotional, just good at hiding it. _Let me continue to hide this so she will walk away_, he prayed.

"Why?" Erin's voice did break on that one word. Buck almost lost all control then. The urge to run to her and take her in his arms and beg her forgiveness was almost overwhelming, but somehow, he kept it together.

Erin cleared her throat. Her next words were said with a clear, strong voice. _That's my girl_, Buck couldn't help but think proudly.

"Can you at least tell me what happened? You kissed me good-bye this morning and seemed happy with me, but then you return from town a different person. What happened there?" Erin questioned.

Buck finally turned around and almost lost the little control he still had over his emotions. While she wasn't crying, Erin's expression was one of confusion and pure anguish.

"Nothing." Buck decided a little bit of the truth couldn't hurt. "I did some thinking. Look, the next man who courts you isn't going to like that you were courted by an Indian before him. It limits your prospects of having a respectable marriage." Buck felt his heart breaking but he forced himself to continue on, his voice emotionless. "We need to stop now, while you still have a good reputation in town, so that you don't lose your chances with the next man who wants to court you."

He expected anger, or even tears, but he never expected Erin to look like he had physically slapped her. Anger or tears or even both he could have handled, but surprise and defeat weren't emotions he was prepared for. Especially when Erin said nothing, just spun on her heel and calmly walked away without another word.

Buck was now the one who was feeling anguished. What had he done? Ending things had been the plan but, in his heart, it wasn't what he wanted. He had laid everything out for her but it didn't seem to make as much sense aloud as it did in his head. He wanted what was best for her, but what if the spirits had decided _he_ was best for her? What was he supposed to do? _I have to let her walk away_, he chided himself, but still he couldn't help her name falling from his lips.

"Erin, wait," he called. Erin kept walking as if she hadn't heard him.

_Let her keep walking_, he decided. _What I want doesn't matter. What matters is what's best for her_.

Buck wasn't sure how he held in the tears, but somehow, he managed.

* * *

An hour later, Buck was still in the barn. He needed to get himself together before he left so he wasn't a mess in front of the others. He also was terrified of running into Erin. He knew his resolve was so weak that he'd probably cry and beg for a second chance of he saw her now.

Buck was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't hear Ike come in the barn. It wasn't until Ike tapped him on his shoulder that he noticed his friend.

_*Want to tell me what happened?*_

"What happened with what?" Buck feigned ignorance.

_*Don't make me slap you upside your head!*_

Buck sighed and looked at the ground. "I told her that we shouldn't court anymore. I told her that the next man who courts her isn't going to want an Indian's leavings and us courting will ruin her chances for a good marriage."

Ike exhaled loudly through his nose, an obviously sound of disgust. Buck looked up, surprised, only to feel Ike's hand slap up against the side of his head. "OWWW!" Buck exclaimed. Ike's slaps were almost as bad as his punches.

"What was that for?"

_*It was because you're a dumbass!*_

"What did you just say?"

_*I said you are an A-S-S!* _Ike's signs were jerky and pedantic, demonstrative of his anger.

"Oh? And how am I an ass?"

_*Did it ever occur to you that she doesn't want to be courted by another man after you?*_

Buck paled at that realization. He had thought that Erin might be upset at first, but she would get over it. He hadn't thought about her not wanting to be courted by anyone else after him. That meant—well, did he feel that way? Buck knew she was everything he wanted in a woman and he knew he had fallen in love with her, but was it that special love? The love that would last for eternity? Was she destined to be the other half of his soul?

Buck felt a strange calm and warmth spread through him. The spirits were talking to him. _Yes,_ they said, _this is the mate the Great Spirit created for you. This is the woman you are destined to be with_.

Buck then realized the depth of his love for Erin. It was as if he had always known, just hadn't realized it yet. What had he done by pushing her away?

Buck jumped to his feet. "Thank you, Ike" he called as he ran out of the barn in search of Erin.

*Anytime, dumbass,* Ike signed after him.

* * *

Buck found Erin out back, sitting on a blanket and staring out onto the prairie. Another blanket was wrapped around her to ward off the chill of the coming evening. A gentle wind blew her hair around her shoulders. She had never looked more beautiful to Buck. _This is the woman I want for my wife_, he thought. _If only she will forgive me._

"What do you want, Buck?" Erin asked in a flat voice.

"How do you do that? How do you always know I'm coming?"

At Erin's annoyed sigh Buck realized this was not the time to ask that question.

"Will you speak with me, please?" Buck ventured.

Erin sighed that annoyed sigh again. "Make it quick, I've got to help Aunt Emma with the mending."

At least she was still talking to him. This was a good sign.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and please give me another chance. I heard some men talking in town and I want what's best for you and I want you to have the best and I thought I was protecting you but now I realize I was only hurting both of us and please, please give me another chance because I realize how stupid I was and I am an ass." Buck was out of air when he finished.

"An ass?" Erin asked. "Did Ike tell you that?"

Buck felt surprised and a little embarrassed. "Yes," he said.

"Well, good to know that at least _he_ listens considering that's what I called you about thirty minutes ago."

"Oh," Buck answered with a lame voice. He should have known Ike would have comforted Erin first. Ike was his best friend and the brother of his heart, so he knew Buck would need some space.

"Buck, I can't fight for you to love me." Erin said in a small voice. Buck felt his heart constrict.

"You won't ever again. Just please, baby, please forgive me."

Without looking back, Erin held up one side of the blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders. Glancing around to make sure Emma wasn't in sight, Buck darted under the blanket, wrapping his arms around Erin. This is a good sign, he thought, gazing down at the woman in his arms.

"Does this mean you forgive me?"

"Yes, but remember what I said. I can't fight for you to love me because I _won't _fight for you to love me. This is your choice, not mine."

"I understand," Buck replied.

_Maybe it's time to let her know. Just about my feelings, not my intentions._

"Erin," Buck said softly. "I love you. And I mean not just love, but I'm in love with you."

Erin was silent for a few moments. _Please don't let me have scared her off_, Buck prayed.

"I figured," Erin replied. "Only love can make a man into that big of an ass."

Buck burst out laughing as Erin turned and looked at him. She waited until he had stopped laughing.

"Buck Cross," she stated matter-of-factly, "I am in love with you too."

Buck stopped breathing for a few beats. She felt the same? Well, almost the same. It was impossible for her to love him as much as he did her, after such a short while. Still, this was a start.

Buck leaned forward and kissed her ruby lips, and kissed and kissed her as the prairie sun set around them.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

_**I don't speak Kiowa. I apologize if I offend anyone; I am focusing on writing a lovely FICTION romance, not a historically accurate novel.**_

The two lay in the bed, satiated from their recent lovemaking. Buck Cross lay on his side with his arms pillowed across his stomach, hands under his head, the bedsheet tangled about his waist. Mirroring him was his wife, Erin. A fire was in the fireplace, its warmth providing a comforting contrast to the _ping!_ of the rain on the tin roof.

Erin had always suspected there was some tragedy in Buck's early life with his Indian family, but she didn't know anything specific. She had never broached the subject with Buck, but now that they were married, she felt confident enough to ask. She wanted to know everything about her new husband. And perhaps this could explain how particular—and peculiar—he was about some things.

"Buck, tell me about your Indian family."

Buck smiled. "You know Red Bear."

It was Erin's turn to smile. "Yes, and an intriguing figure is he, but tell me more. You never speak of your mother. What was she like?"

Buck stared into space for a few moments, his expression softening. "She was kind and beautiful and accepted me. I miss her every day." His focus turned to Erin as his reached out to caress her face, "And the two of you would have been the best of friends. I wish she could have met you. She'd be so proud of me for marrying you."

Erin smiled, blushing a little. "I wish I could have too," she said, capturing Buck's hand and placing a kiss on his palm. Then something clicked. "Honey, what do you mean she accepted you? Why would you not be acceptable? Because of your white blood? I know most of the tribe didn't accept you, but I'm sure she did, considering she chose your white father."

The smile faded from Buck's face. Erin immediately knew she had said something wrong.

"Buck, what is it? What did I say?"

"Nothing. It's alright. I just really don't want to talk about it is all."

Once again, an epiphany over took Erin. She had always been good reading between the lines.

"Your mother didn't choose your father, did she?" Erin asked in a soft voice.

Buck's gaze dropped. He seemed to be debating something. Finally, with a sigh, he resigned himself to telling Erin the truth. He could only pray she didn't look down on him or find him disgusting. _She'll find out eventually anyway_, he thought.

"No, she didn't. He was a white soldier and his regiment attacked the village. He raped my mother and I was born nine months later."

Erin felt tears well in her eyes but quickly she stifled them. Buck wouldn't want her tears. He wouldn't want anyone feeling sorry for him. "That's awful," she said, and immediately wanted to slap herself for saying something so callous.

Buck, eyes still gazing downward, nodded. "I am the result of a white man's greed," he stated matter-of-factly, as if he had accepted this notion years ago.

Erin couldn't help the disbelieving snort that erupted from her nose—that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard and she couldn't believe Buck would even think that. She couldn't help herself from correcting her husband.

"No, Buck, you are not the result of a white man's greed," she said, her hand reaching out to lift Buck's chin so he would look into her eyes. "You are the result of a Kiowa woman's love."

Buck gazed at her, puzzled. _The result of a white man's greed_ was what everyone in the village had said. Red Bear had even gotten mad at him once and said it. Their mother had beaten him senseless, but that didn't matter; Red Bear had only spoken the truth.

"Buck, we all know how to end a pregnancy."

"That's against everything the Kiowa believe in," Buck said sharply.

"Well, then, if your mother did that before she was showing, then no one would have known. But she chose not to do that, didn't she? And then she chose to not abandon you somewhere. And then she chose to love you. Am I right on this?" Erin said.

Buck nodded, unsure where she was going with this.

"Buck, you are the result of a Kiowa woman's love. You may have come about from a white man's greed, but _you are the result of a Kiowa woman's love_. Your mother decided that you were the something beautiful that came out of something so horrible. She decided you were going to be her baby, and her baby only, not his. You were completely her son, and I believe she was proud of you no matter what. Her accepting you was never a question, because she saw you as a blessing, not a curse."

Buck was speechless. He had never thought of it this way.

Erin turned thoughtful. "I could only hope that if I were in her position, I could be that strong and love my baby that much," she said to herself, not even aware she spoke the words aloud.

Buck felt stunned. Erin was right: his mother had loved him so much that she was _grateful_ for him. He could see it now. Erin was right, and all of these years he had felt guilty for being alive when his mother had chosen _him_. She chose him and never regretted it.

Tears began to spill over Buck's cheeks as he thought. He cried silently as he thought of his mother, his brave, wonderful mother, who loved him above all other things. He missed her more than ever.

Erin came back to herself and saw Buck's tears. She felt her own spilling over her cheeks. She reached out and wiped her husband's tears away with her thumb.

"What was your mother's name?"

"Brook-ha-ne-yo. It means 'Red Flower'," Buck managed to state.

"Well then, I say we name our first daughter Brook-ha-ne-yo. We can call her Brooke for short."

Buck smiled through his tears. "That sounds like a plan."


	4. Chapter 4

N**UMBER FOUR**

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

The atmosphere in the bunk house was one of excitement and anticipation. The Sweetwater summer social was in four days, and the guys couldn't stop talking about the girls they planned to ask to dance.

"I'm gonna ask me that sweet lil' Angelica Messir. Blonde hair, pretty blue eyes. Why she's almost as pretty as me!" Cody said. Then he got a sly grin on his face. "Who you gonna ask, Kid?"

Lou shifted her eyes away from the window to Kid and arched a brow. Kid smiled. "I don't have any plans to ask any girl to dance, but if they ask me, I have to, being a gentleman and all."

Lou arched her other brow.

"Or maybe not," Kid added in a feeble voice.

Buck Cross was getting tired of this nonsense. _Well, not really nonsense, it's just it doesn't apply to me because I'm a half breed. No girl there will be caught dead with me and if I ask one to dance, I already know what will happen, _Buck thought.

"Who you gonna ask, Ike?"

As Ike signed his response, Buck continued thinking. _You know what? I don't think I'm going to go. I'm tired of standing on the wall. Teaspoon can't make me go this time. _It felt good to put his foot down, at least in his head.

As he was wont to do, Buck's thoughts turned to the girl he was in love with: Erin. Sweet, beautiful Erin, Emma's niece, who had been staying with them for about four weeks. It was only in the past two weeks that she had stopped stammering around him and turning pink whenever he spoke to her. It saddened him that she was so afraid of Indians, but he understood. He had encountered it before.

_Erin is different from other girls_, Buck thought dreamily. _She is kind, and so smart. She was intelligent, and funny, and talented..._

Buck drew himself out of his thoughts when he heard Erin's name. He returned to listening to the conversation.

"Aw, c'mon Hickock, confess it. We all know who you're going to ask to dance! The lovely Miss Erin won't know what hit her when she sees you dressed in your finery!"

Jimmy was turning red. "Like you'd have the courage to ask her, Cody! You still can't look her in the eye!"

Cody turned a little pink and mumbled something under his breath. He knew Jimmy was right and he couldn't argue.

"You gonna ask Erin, Jimmy?" Lou asked with a concerned look on her face.

Buck was curious at her troubled look, but he didn't pay it any attention. He could feel anger and jealousy boiling to the surface. He'd always had a problem with being jealous. Buck knew he always seemed in control with his emotions, but the truth was he was good at hiding them. Lately that had become more difficult where Erin was concerned. She had started actually talking with him. He found her conversation and wit to be exhilarating, and sought her out every night as she mended or sewed by the fire. Jimmy tried to join them a time or two but got bored and fell asleep. The nights were the only time Buck was able to be alone with Erin because Jimmy usurped all of her time during the day. Wherever she went, he was right behind her like some lovesick schoolboy; or at least, that's what Buck thought.

She was the most beautiful woman Buck had ever met, and her heart was even more beautiful. He knew the two of them would never be, as she had to return Jimmy's affections because she never seemed to discourage him.

"I'm gonna ask her as many times as she'll let me," Jimmy replied.

"Well, you do that," Kid interjected. "She's gotta know how much you like her, and I have a feeling she'll be happy you asked!"

Lou looked furious and they heard a quiet yelp from Kid. Lou must have kicked him under the table.

"What was that for?" Kid whispered.

Lou didn't bother to lower her voice. "Because I felt like it."

Kid shut his mouth and said nothing more.

* * *

The next evening, Buck sought out Erin as usual. She was in her normal place by the fire with _his_ shirt in hand. The fact that she was working on his shirt made his breath catch. He was careful with his clothing and didn't normally need Emma to mend anything. The fact that he did and Erin was the one to mend it was extraordinary. He would relish wearing that shirt from now on.

"Buck, I swear, you boys need more clothes mended than all of my brothers combined," Erin stated as he walked into the room.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"You can't sneak up on me Buck. No one can. Besides, you walk with a distinctive step."

Buck swore she had to be part Indian to always know when he was coming.

"I brought you your tea," Buck said, handing her the teacup.

"You're always so thoughtful," Erin replied. "Thank you."

Buck had begun bringing Erin's nightly tea about a week prior. He knew she couldn't sleep without it, so he took over making it so she didn't have to get up. He never made any for himself; he never had any trouble sleeping.

He looked up from handing her the teacup and found her eyes on him, a small smile on her lips. She's so lovely, Buck thought. It was always so exciting to have her attention on him and only him.

"You're welcome," Buck managed to say as he sat down.

"Now, please tell me about this social coming up," Erin asked.

Buck sighed. _Why did she want to talk about that? I suppose because she's a girl and they like all that dancing and socializing. Or maybe it's just people who belong and know they won't be ignored or have someone spit on them_, he thought.

"It's just everyone in the town getting together and dancing. It's not very interesting, actually."

Erin let out a peal of laughter and Buck found himself hypnotized.

"Spoken just like a man. I suppose these things are more important to us women. I suppose you don't enjoy them, do you?"

"No, never."

"Maybe this one will be different," Erin said softly.

"I don't know if it would be because I'm not going."

"Not going? Why not? There'll be so many people and you could make new friends and dance, and-"

Buck couldn't help but interrupt her. "The good people of Sweetwater are not my friends. I have been spat upon by some and the others yell or make nasty comments. A few of them have taken a swing at me and children have thrown mud on me—some of the adults, too. I've only gone because Teaspoon makes me. He wants me to be social, but I put my foot down earlier and told him I am sitting this one out."

"What did he say?" Erin asked.

"He wasn't happy because he thinks it's important for all of us to the friendly in town but he also understands that he can't make me."

Erin looked devastated at the news that he wasn't coming. Buck didn't understand why she looked that way.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Erin quickly recovered. "Nothing," she said nonchalantly as she began sipping her tea. "Just going to miss you at the social," she said with a grin.

Buck felt his heart flutter. _She's just being nice. There's no way she'd be interested in a half breed. She's just my friend, and a considerate one at that._

He turned the conversation to another topic as the two continued their nightly visit.

* * *

Buck was brushing down his horse the next day when Lou approached him. Buck greeted her when he saw her. He had always been fond of Lou, and he liked the way she kept Kid in line.

"Hello Lou. Coming to take Lightening out for a ride?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "I've come to talk to you, ask you for a favor."

Buck was surprised. Lou had never asked him for a favor before. Intrigued, he asked, "What can I do for you?"

"I want you to go to the social tomorrow night."

Buck was so surprised that he dropped the brush he was using. "You want me to what?"

"Go to the social tomorrow night."

"But why?" Buck asked.

"I just do. Please take a leap of faith and give it a chance. Trust me when I say you should be there."

Buck openly gawked at her. _Was she serious?_

"Please, Buck."

Buck trusted Lou, and he wanted to help her out. He had no idea why she needed him there, but he would go if it was that important to his friend.

"Okay, but you owe me a _big_ favor."

Lou smiled. "That's fine," she said as she walked out of the barn.

_I wonder what that's all about. _Buck was perplexed.

* * *

Later that evening, Buck brought Erin her tea as usual.

"I've, uh, I've changed my mind and I'm going to the social after all."

Expecting pleasure or even happiness, Buck was surprised when he saw a touch of anger instead.

"Did Lou put you up to this?" She demanded.

Buck answered her immediately. He didn't want her to eviscerate him.

"Well, she asked me to and I said yes," he ventured cautiously.

All of the anger went out of Erin's face, only to be replaced with concern. "Buck you don't have to go, you know that, right? It's your decision and if you feel uncomfortable it is fine for you to stay here," she said.

Buck was touched by her concern. "No, I want to go," he said. He realized that he was telling the truth. "For some reason I'm looking forward to it," he added.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, that's okay too."

Buck nodded.

"Now tell me more of how the Kiowa believe the world came to be," Erin requested.

Buck smiled. He loved that she wanted to know more about his tribe.

"Well, in the beginning …"

* * *

The next night, as Cody and Jimmy argued over the mirror and who got to perfect his clothes and hair, Buck sat uncertain on his bunk, having second thoughts. _May I shouldn't go to this thing, _he thought_. No, I promised Lou and Erin is expecting me as well. Hopefully I can ask her to dance_, Buck thought excitedly. The thought of dancing with Erin gave him butterflies.

"Move out of the way, Cody! I have to look my best for Erin if she's gonna fall in love with me tonight!" Jimmy angrily stated to Cody.

Buck gritted his teeth. It was time for him to leave if he didn't want to do something he'd regret.

Walking out of the bunkhouse, Buck saw the procession of ladies walking to the buckboard. Emma looked nice in a blue calico dress, and Lou was lovely in a gray dress she'd borrowed from Erin, as she was going tonight as a "cousin" visiting from back East, but it was Erin that made him lose his breath. She wore a green gown that matched her eyes perfectly. It was properly modest, but it still accentuated her figure perfectly. He already thought Erin was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, but tonight she shined even brighter than she did every day. He heard bickering as Jimmy and Cody come onto the porch, but immediately their voices fell silent. Buck recovered first and walked down the steps. Erin turned and smiled at him, holding out her hand to him. Buck smiled back and walked toward her only to have a body crash into his shoulder from behind and then race around him.

"Sorry Buck," Jimmy said as he passed him. "But she's waiting on me, as you can see." Jimmy ran up to Erin and took her hand.

Was it Buck's imagination, or did Erin look a little disappointed when Jimmy took her hand? Buck shook off the thought. He was a half breed that could not offer her anything, whereas Jimmy was a nice white man with a future ahead of him. Surely, she realized that.

* * *

Two hours later in the town hall, Buck was ready to scream. When he walked in, he had received several dirty looks and unwelcoming comments. Ike had to bring him some punch because at the last social, he'd served himself and then the town's leading citizens had insisted the entire bowl be thrown out. The dirty looks were tripled, whether because of his Indian blood or the loss of punch he did not know.

Buck was getting even closer to screaming as Jimmy whirled Erin around the dance floor another time. Erin had been dancing non-stop since they arrived. It seemed the young men in town were practically lining up to ask her to dance, a sight that made Buck's jealous nature rise to the surface. He realized he scowled any time she smiled at a man, but he couldn't help it. He'd stood against the wall since the beginning of the dance looking grumpy.

Jimmy seemed to dance with Erin the most, but for Buck that was a relief. At least he could trust Jimmy to keep his hands to himself. If any of the others got frisky, he would take care of things, good relationship with the town or not. _Yeah, you would know if things got frisky because all you've done is stare at her ever since you arrived_, Buck thought angrily. He needed some air.

Hoping no one would follow him, Buck hurried outside and stood in the shadows. He didn't want anyone to see him as he took deep breaths; he was too much of a target if he was alone. After a few minutes he noticed Lou, Emma, and Erin walk outside and stand on the covered porch that ran the entirety of the building.

"There's a ladies' choice, Erin. I think you should ask him to dance and let him know how you feel," Lou began.

"_Him?" Who are they talking about? _Buck thought.

"Oh my, Erin, I didn't know you could turn that red!" Emma laughed.

"He has no idea how you feel. You have to let him know so the two of you can be happy," Lou continued.

_Must be Jimmy. Erin has to return his feelings, the way she lets him follow her around._

"So red!" Emma laughed. "You look just like your father when he wanted to ask your mother to dance!"

From his viewpoint, Buck saw Erin shake her head. "He's wise and handsome and kind and -he's too good for me. I think I just make him tired."

_Jimmy, wise? Hah!_ Buck thought. _And Jimmy is too good for her?! That's backward—in fact, NO ONE will ever be good enough for HER._ Buck wanted to go and punch Jimmy in the nose, even though Jimmy personally had nothing to do with Erin's fears. _I guess people in love think stupid things about the person they're in love with. _That last thought made Buck's heart ache.

"Now, none of that is true and you know it," Lou said softly. "Just ask him, Erin. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

"You'll never know unless you put your heart out there," Emma continued, her voice just as soft and encouraging as Lou's. "Your father almost didn't ask your mother, and theirs was the truest love I ever saw."

Erin heaved a deep breath of courage. "Okay. I'll ask. I think I'm shaking already."

"Don't worry! He'll say yes!" Emma exclaimed.

_Jimmy'd better say yes or I will punch him to the ground,_ Buck vowed, although he had no doubt the man would fall over himself to get to the dance floor with the girl of _both_ their dreams.

After a few more moments of chit chat, the women went back inside. _I'd better go in before Teaspoon comes looking for me. Damn, but it's going to hurt to see her choose Jimmy._ A defeated Buck Cross walked inside and took up his post next to the wall. He prayed that they would go home soon.

* * *

"Alright, everyone! We have a special dance tonight! This is a ladies' choice!" Several men in the crowd whooped and hollered as the most of the women looked panicked. "So, gentlemen, you do not get to ask any lady to dance! She must come to you! Now ladies, choose your partners!"

Immediately the women paired off, most with the partners they just dancing with. A few giggling school girls approached their selections. Jimmy was standing near Buck, and he seemed nervous. "Where is she? I don't see her," he whispered to Buck.

"She's over there, by the band," Buck pointed out. He always knew where she was. _A good man would never lose track of his woman_, Buck thought nastily, immediately feeling regret for looking down on his friend.

Erin was standing with her side to them as she took deep breaths, like she was steeling herself to do something intimidating. Lou patted her on her shoulder and Emma physically turned her towards Buck and Jimmy. She looked nervous; she looked terrified.

"Why's she so nervous? She has to know I'll say yes," Jimmy whispered. He took a few steps forward and smiled, straightening his jacket. Buck stayed in his spot by the wall, cursing the spirits for making him watch this, and at such close proximity.

Erin walked slowly across the dance floor, looking more and more nervous with each step. Buck could swear her eyes were on him, but he knew better than to get his hopes up.

A few more steps and she was standing by Jimmy. But, to Jimmy and Buck's surprise, she kept walking.

Erin reached Buck and held out her hand. She looked hopeful. Buck couldn't help but stare at her. Was she serious? Did the others put her up to this?

Buck caught sight of Jimmy's crestfallen and confused face. For a split second he felt sorry for his friend, but only for a second.

Buck couldn't stop staring at Erin in disbelief; he still felt frozen. Was he dreaming?

It was Erin's turn to look disappointed. Her eyes fell and she bit her lip. She started to pull her hand back. With that action, Buck sprang to life. He grasped her hand before she could pull completely away. Erin looked up in surprise as Buck smiled at her. She smiled back tentatively. They stood still for a couple of seconds, gazing at each other before she turned and led him to the dance floor. Buck didn't feel any guilt as they passed by Jimmy, who looked shocked and devestated.

When they reached the other dancers, Buck made to take Erin in his arms. Erin stopped him and Buck felt panic. Did she ask him only because she was too shy to let Jimmy know how she felt?

"Buck, it seemed to me that you didn't want to dance with me. You don't have to do this if you feel sorry for me. In fact, I'm begging you not to do this if you are."

Buck was taken aback. _How could she even think that? _ Buck quickly found his words this time. He decided to lay everything out on the table for her.

"I'm not, I swear. I am just shocked. I thought you were scared of me because I'm Indian."

Erin let him take her in his arms and begin to lead her around the dance floor. "Why on earth would you think that?" she wondered.

"Because you started off stammering and blushing around me. I thought perhaps you were frightened and then embarrassed."

"No," Erin said shyly, looking down. "I was never afraid, I just got, still get, nervous around you because you are so handsome." He skin took on the lovely pink hue that Buck decided he loved. She seemed nervous even now, as if unsure of the way he would react to her secret.

Buck stopped and lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. "Erin Kelly, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And I never dared hope you'd like me the way I like you." They continued dancing, staring at each other. Buck couldn't help but puff his chest in pride when he realized that _he_ made Erin nervous and blush because she thought him so handsome. He was lucky. _No, blessed_, he thought as the thanked the spirits.

"I can't wait to kiss you senseless when we get home," Buck stated matter-of-factly.

"I can't either," Erin replied.


	5. Chapter 5

**NUMBER FIVE**

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

Buck Cross was worried. He and Erin had declared their romantic intentions toward each other only an hour before. He told her he couldn't wait to kiss her senseless when they got home and she had agreed, saying she couldn't wait either. Only now, on the way home, his nerves were getting the best of him. How was he going to do this?

Out of the corner of his eye, he snuck a glance at his girl; at least, that's what he wanted her to be. Erin looked as uncertain as he was. She was riding on the buckboard with Emma and Lou as Buck and the other men rode on their horses. Buck noticed Jimmy's disappointed face. Pushing his thoughts of Erin aside, he whispered to Jimmy.

"Jimmy, can I speak with you for a moment?" he asked.

Jimmy solemnly nodded his head. The two slowed and let the others get a bit ahead of them before they began to talk.

"Jimmy, I want you to know that I had no idea this was going to happen. I'm not saying I regret it, but I am sorry that you had to get hurt. You are my friend and my brother and I never meant for you to get hurt."

"I know you didn't intend for this to happen, and if you're asking my permission, you have it," Jimmy replied.

"Oh, I'm not asking for permission," Buck said. He wanted to make it clear to Jimmy that although he regretted any anguish he and Erin caused his friend, Buck did not need his blessing. Buck felt this would give Jimmy a false sense of power that could come back to haunt him and Erin. "I just wanted you to know that neither of us intended to hurt you."

"Neither of you? You feel comfortable enough to speak for her now? Moving kind of fast, aren't you?" Jimmy seemed angry now. "You know what? It's not over yet and I am still going to try to win her. You'd better get your guard up, Cross." With that threat, Jimmy rode to catch up to the others.

Buck sighed. _This was not the way I intended things to go_, he thought. Resigned, he too rode to catch up with the others.

* * *

Buck's nerves had returned tenfold. Jealousy was compounding them. Jimmy, in full Jimmy fashion, was still trying to charm Erin, who seemed nonplussed that he was speaking to her. _I don't think she really ever knew how much he cared—cares—for her_, Buck thought. _She probably thinks he just liked dancing. _

Buck did not like that Erin and Jimmy were talking like nothing had happened. He wanted Erin to tell Jimmy to back off. _As if that will happen! She's so sweet that she'd never do that to anyone, no matter how much she didn't want to talk to them._ _Besides, what do you expect? _he told himself_. Her to ignore him? That will bring her aunt's ire down her for sure. Emma is nothing if not polite._

Buck's thoughts returned to what was most bothering him: how was he to approach kissing Erin? He wanted to keep his promise to her. He REALLY wanted to kiss her anyway, promise or no promise. But, he did he go about this? He didn't want to attack her after he helped her down from the buckboard. Buck relished privacy, and what they had begun was special to him, sacred even. He had never really courted a woman, and he could already tell this relationship was going to be the most important one in his life. _I need to ask Emma's permission to court her_, he realized. His stomach rolled. _I don't think she'll object, but what if she does?_ worried Buck.

Buck's realized his concern about what to do when they reached home was spreading to other ideas that caused him worry. _Focus on the problem at hand_, he reminded himself. Red Bear had always told him that.

Buck heard Erin laugh and he sharply looked in her direction. She didn't notice his look, but Jimmy did. A triumphant grin stretched across his face. Buck felt the childish urge to stick his tongue out at him.

Erin noticed Jimmy's grin and looked to see who he directed it towards. Buck managed to replace his scowl with a neutral look before she noticed him. Catching his eye, her eyes softened and she aimed a shy smile in his direction. Buck gave her his own shy smile in return. It was Jimmy's turn to scowl then.

_What do I do?_ Buck thought. _How am I going to get Erin alone? And once I do, what if she has changed her mind? What if she doesn't like the way I kiss? What if she is more experienced than me? What will I do then? All I would do was embarrass myself and lose the girl of my dreams! How will I ask her to be my girl? Is that moving too fast? Will she agree to let me court her? What do I do if she says no? How do I get her to stay away from Jimmy?_

Buck took a deep breath. It was going to be a long ride home.

* * *

Erin sat in her bedroom, wondering what had happened. Buck had seemed excited and happy at the dance, but the moment they left he had become quiet and pensive. He entered his own world, and she saw him leave it only twice: when he spoke with Jimmy, and then when he smiled at her. Erin was confused as to why he needed to speak with Jimmy. Jimmy was her friend, not her beau, and besides, she was sure she caught him eyeing several other girls at the dance. Then Buck had sent that shy smile her way. She wasn't sure what it meant. _Has he changed his mind?_ she thought. Erin thought back to when he helped her down from the buckboard. _I think he has_, she thought, tears filling her eyes. Buck had reached up and placed his hands around her waist, helping down, then gave her an unsure smile before walking away.

Erin heaved a sigh. _If he's changed his mind, then he's changed his mind_, she thought. At least she had the courage to put herself out there. If she hadn't, she would have spent the rest of her life wondering what would have happened if she had.

Just then Erin thought she heard a small sound. She waited a moment, her ears straining. _Yes, there it is again. Someone is tapping on the window._ She rushed over to the window and drew back the curtains. There stood Buck, looking as frightened as one possibly could.

Erin hurriedly opened the latch on her window. This is improper, she thought, but she didn't care. It was Buck at her window, and he was trustworthy. She only hoped that Aunt Emma didn't find out about her late-night visitor.

Buck helped himself through the window. He stumbled before righting his feet, and Erin caught him, their faces drawing closer as she grasped his arm. The two couldn't help but stare at each others' lips.

They both began speaking, and the same words came out of their mouths at the same time.

"I know you've changed your mind."

They stopped and stared at each other.

"Erin, you go first," Buck softly suggested.

Erin complied. "Buck, I don't mean to sound stuck up, but I know men think I'm real pretty. It's ok if you were taken in the moment and now you've changed your mind. It wouldn't be the first time this has happened and you have nothing to feel guilty about."

Buck felt another twinge of jealousy at the thought of Erin with another man. He quickly tapped it down, knowing it would only complicate things at this moment.

"I have not changed my mind in any way. I am still the luckiest man on earth. I am scared you've changed your mind."

"Why would you think that?" Erin asked, puzzled.

"Because of the way you and Jimmy were talking on the ride home. I thought you might have decided you'd rather be with him."

Realization dawned on Erin. "Buck Cross, were you jealous?"

Buck turned red. "Maybe a little," he confessed.

Erin smiled as she drew closer to him. "You have nothing to be jealous over. Jimmy's not interested in me and I'm not interested in him and we're just friends. It's you I like."

Buck made a mental note to never let Erin know how Jimmy felt in case she really would change her mind.

For a few beats, the two stared at each other. Finally, Erin broke the silence.

"Well, aren't you going to kiss me senseless like you promised?"

Buck smiled as he placed one hand on the back of her head and the other around her waist, pulling her against his body. His mouth met hers and Buck was lost. _Erin truly is sweeter than chocolate,_ he thought as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Buck was pleased to realize that Erin was lost in this dance. _I'm the only one who's ever kissed her this way_, he thought. Erin was a quick study and soon she was kissing him back with a blooming passion. Their heads turned left and right as they tried to get closer to each other.

Erin felt Buck's hands on her head, and then felt her hair tumble down past her shoulder. _He took the_ _pins out of my hair_, she thought, as her kisses grew more frenzied. She twined her hands around his neck and Buck ran his fingers through her hair. Erin felt like the world was moving, but when she felt the wall against her back, she realized _they_ were the ones moving.

Buck raised his hands to cup Erin's face. More and more passion was building as their kisses became wilder. Buck moved one hand back to her waist, pulling her flush against him as he placed his other hand on the wall to help steady them. His body was responding, and he knew she could feel it. Erin didn't seem frightened as she pressed her body against his.

Buck moaned with pleasure and the sound brought Erin out of her erotic haze. She broke off the kiss, but Buck just moved to her neck and began sucking and kissing. Erin began to pant, and she knew she had to stop things before they got out of hand.

"Buck," she said.

He kept on worshipping her neck with his mouth.

"Buck!" she said, this time a little louder.

"Mmmm," he replied.

"We have to stop!" Erin breathed.

Buck seemed to come back to himself. Placing a gentle kiss on the spot he was at, he gently pulled away and moved his arms back to his sides. He gazed at Erin with pure adoration on his face. Her lips were red and swollen, and he was sure his looked the same. _I kissed her senseless_, he thought with pride.

"I'd better go," Buck said, gesturing to the window.

"I guess so," Erin agreed.

Buck didn't want to leave, but he knew he needed to before they did something she would later regret. He walked to the window, Erin following. Once he climbed through, he turned around to face Erin. Unable to resist, he leaned through the window and kissed her one last time.

"Goodnight," he whispered, smiling.

"Goodnight," she returned with her own smile.

Buck disappeared into the darkness as Erin closed her window.

Elated, she pressed her fingers to her lips as the twirled around. Walking to the mirror, she picked up her brush and began her nightly rituals. Suddenly, she noticed something on her neck. Leaning forward, she grumbled as she realized what it is.

"Fantastic. Now I'm stuck wearing high necked dresses in the middle of summer!"


	6. Chapter 6

**NUMBER SIX**

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN.

Granville was not a special town, or even decent one. A mining community, its population consisted of prospectors, a lousy excuse for a sheriff, a few shopkeepers, and prostitutes. However, Granville was midway between the Sweetwater and Rock Creek stations, giving a much-needed safe place for Riders to spend the night.

_Not very safe_, Buck Cross thought as he stabled his horse at the local livery, _but I guess it's better than camping on the prairie_. He had stopped at Granville before, and he knew he would be sleeping in the barn with his horse. He was hungry, though, and he knew the local restaurant was run by a kind woman. She served him out the back door, apologizing over and over as she did so, explaining that the local townsfolk would burn her business to the ground if she took him through the front door. Buck always assured her that he understood, and truly, he did. She had to do whatever was necessary to keep her livelihood and support her children.

Buck kept his head low as he walked through the main street. He always tried to be as inconspicuous as possible; the less attention, the better. Luckily, the people of Granville were not attentive as long as he kept his place. But there was one exception, and Buck saw her as he passed by the saloon: Daisy. She was a working girl there.

Buck saw her face light up as he walked by and she took notice of him. He lifted his chin in greeting, but when she made to stand, he gave a slight shake of his head. She looked puzzled as she sat back down. Daisy had been only a friend to him, but sometimes he wondered if she wanted more.

Buck was not inexperienced in the nature of relations between men and women, but the little experience he did have was limited to a few prostitutes. He had never paid them, but rather they had sought him out when they heard he was in town. They always had the same story: they wanted to know what it was like to be with an Indian. Buck, being the young man he was, had indulged them, usually in the alley behind the saloon, or the barn, or wherever was convenient. With the exception of one, he saw them once and never again. Daisy had been the one woman he regularly met up with. She had been nicer than the rest, and seemed to truly enjoy his company. She also seemed to be unashamed of being seen with him, a fact that he was grateful for. At times she hinted she wanted to be more than occasional lovers, but Buck had always ignored those hints. He didn't look down on her for her job, he just never felt that way about her.

In the past few weeks, Buck had been turning down any woman who came his way. He had a girl now, and he was desperately in love. They had only been together for three weeks, but already he wanted to make her his wife. Erin had no idea, and Buck preferred to keep it that way for now. He was afraid she'd think he was pressuring her if he proposed now. There was no way he was going to cheat on Erin, ever; besides, only this past week had they become intimate, in some ways. Buck didn't want another woman, and certainly wouldn't take any sexual pleasure from any other woman besides the one he was proud to call his own.

Buck continued on to the café, feeling a twinge of guilt about ending his relationship with Daisy. He didn't want to hurt her, but this was the way things were now. Despite the guilt, he had no regrets.

* * *

Buck awoke with a woman's breath hot on his neck and feminine hands unbuttoning his shirt. _Erin_, he thought, his eyes still closed and lips stretching into a smile. He reached his hands up and buried them in her hair as she finished with his shirt and moved her mouth to his chest. _This was like the last time she'd woke me up at our cabin. I've missed her so much, Buck thought._

A feminine voice echoed Buck's thought. "I've missed you so," she said, right before attacking his neck again. _Wait, that doesn't sound like Erin_, Buck thought, as the mouth moved to his ear. _What's going on?_ Buck thought as he struggled to wake up. The woman kissed him, and Buck had a single moment to realize she tasted like cheap liquor before all the events of the past 24 hours came flooding back to him. He was in Granville, with hay sticking into his back, and this was most definitely _not_ Erin. He pushed the woman away and sat up, reaching for the lantern he left on a nearby post. Reaching into his pocket for a match, he heard the woman ask what was the matter. _Daisy_, he thought with a sigh. He reluctantly struck the match and lit the lantern.

As the light reached her and she came into view, Buck noticed she looked heartbroken. He'd never before pushed her away.

"Buck, what's going on? I thought we were friends," she asked in a small voice. She was dressed in her fancy red gown, her hair mussed and lip rouge smeared across her mouth.

Buck heaved a sigh. "We are, just not that type of friends anymore."

Daisy looked crushed. "But you just had your hands in my hair and we were kissing. Why'd you do that if we weren't more than friends?"

"Daisy, I don't want to hurt you, but we were never more than friends. I'm sorry."

Daisy looked as if she was about to cry. "What happened?" she asked, her voice cracking.

Buck had had no idea her feelings ran this deep. He had thought she was fond of him and perhaps saw him as a ticket out of her present profession. He had always been clear that he didn't feel that way, but it seemed that Daisy had built things up in her head. Buck felt awful; he never meant for her to be hurt.

"I have a girl now," he answered softly.

Daisy looked relieved. "Well that's ok, that doesn't bother me. I'll be here when you get tired of her," she said, trying to climb onto his lap.

"It bothers me, and I'm not ever going to get tired of her," Buck replied, gently pushing her away.

Daisy again looked devastated. "You love her. You want to marry her."

Buck nodded.

Daisy looked sadly at him. "When did this happen?"

"A few weeks ago."

"Is she the one you were thinking about the last time we were together?"

Buck jerked his head in surprise. "How did you—"

"How did I know?" Daisy interrupted. Buck nodded.

Daisy gave a hollow laugh. "In my job, you get to be an expert on what men are thinking and when," was her answer.

Silence stretched for a few moments.

"So, where does this leave us?" Daisy asked.

"There is no 'us,'" Buck said. "We can always be friends, but there is no 'us.'"

Anger clouded Daisy's face. She rose from the hay and stormed out.

Buck made a mental note to never stop in Granville again.


	7. Chapter 7

**NUMBER SEVEN**

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN.

"You and I need to talk," Emma hissed at him in his ear as she walked passed him during breakfast.

Buck swallowed hard. Emma had made it no secret that she was angry at something, or someone, and until now, everyone was clueless. Erin had first reported her bad mood when she came out to give Buck a kiss good morning; she and the riders had spent the next ten minutes debating on what could be bothering her. When Emma called them to breakfast it was with gritted teeth, and then she proceeded to stomp around the kitchen during the meal. No one dared ask why she was upset for fear that she would exsanguinate them. All of them, including Teaspoon, had unofficially decided to just let her be. Sooner or later, they would find out what was bothering her.

Now, she was requesting—no, _ordering_—Buck to speak with her. He could only assume that she meant after breakfast and prayed he was correct, that she wouldn't decide to make him into a girl in front of everyone else. He was grateful when everyone began to file out, but she gave him a look that clearly said he was in for it. _What did I do?_ Buck thought. He couldn't imagine what action had put Emma in such a tizzy; all he knew what that he was about to get it.

His friends shot him sympathetic looks as they left him to his fate. Teaspoon didn't even look in his direction. Erin hesitated to leave, but Buck inclined his head, indicating she should leave. With a sigh, she trudged down the hallway to her room. Buck watched her leave with regretful eyes.

His attention was brought back to the present when something was thrown on the table in front of him. He turned and looked: his purple shirt, the one he had worn on his last run. Buck had given it to Emma yesterday so she could add it to the wash. _What on earth is wrong, and what does it have to do with my shirt?_

"Care to explain what that is?" she asked, her words bitten off and her tone acidic.

Buck was careful with his words. This woman was now the closest thing he had to a mother. He didn't know why she was upset, but he didn't want to be disrespectful.

"Emma, I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about."

Emma looked disbelieving. "Don't make me spell this out for you, Buck!" Her voice was low but stern.

Buck stared at her, completely lost.

With a huff, Emma stomped over to where his shirt lay. Impatiently, she pointed to the red smear on the shirt's collar. Then, she opened the shirt and pointed to the red smears on the inside breast part. Her movements were jerky and overexaggerated in a pedantic mime. Buck was confused, until he recognized the stains: lip rouge. _Daisy!_ His mind screamed. A few days ago, on his last shift, he had run into an old lover, Daisy. She had woken him up unbuttoning his shirt and kissing his neck. Buck had pushed her away as soon as he realized she wasn't Erin. He remembered the red smears on her lips and face when he lit the lantern—now he knew where she had left the other parts of the lip rouge she was wearing. Buck had told her to leave and considered the situation to be handled. _Why is Emma upset about this? It's almost as if she thinks-. _

Buck started, feeling his body give a little jerk as realization dawned on him. _Emma thinks I'm cheating_ _on Erin_. As he stared at her, Buck felt a twinge of hurt that Emma would think this of him, but then he caught a glimpse of his shirt out of the corner of his eye_. I guess I can't blame her, _he thought_, and of course she's more protective of her niece_. At the thought of Erin, Buck had another epiphany: Emma obviously hadn't mentioned the stains to Erin. _Thank the spirits! If Emma had, I don't know how I would explain this to her. _

Annoyed by his silence, Emma began to speak. "Buck, who left these stains?"

Buck thought it best to go ahead and answer her to get everything out in the open; however, the part of his brain that controlled speaking had another idea in mind.

"Uh," he began, and Emma shot him a warning look. So much for eloquence, Buck thought. "Daisy?" he said.

Emma slowly blinked. "And who is Daisy?"

"A friend."

"From where?"

"Granville."

Buck could tell his short responses were putting her off. He couldn't find the presence of mind to explain things. He felt frozen, both mentally and physically. He was lucky he could give one-word answers.

"And just what does Daisy do?"

Buck tried to stop his tongue from moving and his mouth from forming words. No luck!

"Prostitute."

Emma went from looking annoyed and angry to shocked and horrified. Her mouth dropped open as Buck heard her gasp. This at least seemed to snap him out of his haze.

"It's not like that, I swear!"

Emma looked ready to explode.

"Well, then, how exactly is it. Buck? You give me a shirt to launder that is covered in lip rouge. You just admitted it was put there by a 'friend' who is a prostitute. All this and you are courting my niece, who seems to love you even more than me. So please, _please_ tell me exactly what is going on!"

Her voice was starting to raise in volume and Buck shot a panicked look in the direction of Erin's room. Emma noticed the direction on his glance and lowered her voice to a loud whisper.

"A what, exactly, do you plan on telling my niece? You know she's in love with you, right? She absolutely _adores_ you and has for the longest time. How could you do this to her? I understand if you don't feel the same, but the least you could do is end things with her before you went a visited a …_lady_ _of the night_!"

"Emma!" Buck cried, shocked at her language. Wincing, he immediately dropped his volume to match hers. "It wasn't like that!"

Emma gritted her teeth and grumbled, "Well. How. Was. It? And if you ever plan on even looking in my niece's direction again then this better be good."

Buck took a deep breath. "Emma, I love Erin more than I ever have anyone, and I would never dishonor her that way. I had a … _friendship_ with Daisy a while ago, and when I ran into her in Granville she decided it wasn't over. She woke me up kissing on my neck and unbuttoning my shirt. When I realized she wasn't," Buck stopped cold with the last word. He didn't need to let Emma know just how far he and her niece had taken things. He started again and prayed Emma had missed the slip. "When I realized who it was, I pushed her away and we discussed things. I told her what we had was over and she left. That's all. Please believe me! And I'm begging you, please don't tell Erin because if I lost her, I don't know what I would do."

_That's it, everything out in the open_, Buck thought. He sent a quick prayer to the spirits that all would be well.

The anger in Emma's eyes faded. Her expression relaxed. In the time she'd known him she had never seen him tell a lie. His expression was pleading and his words so sincere and earnest that she believed him. Emma felt contrite for coming down so hard on him.

"Buck, I believe you, and I won't say anything to Erin."

Buck heaved a sigh of relief, letting go of a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I love all of you boys, but you have to understand that I will always love my niece more and I want to protect her from as much harm as I can. She's just so _vulnerable_," Emma said, her eyes beginning to fill with tears that she was determined to hold back.

Buck spoke softly, with a gentle tone to his voice. "I know, Emma, and I will keep her safe, always. I swear this to you. I love her even more than she thinks she loves me."

Emma smiled though her tears. "I think she would disagree with you."

Buck grinned back at her. "Not a chance."

A few minutes later, Buck walked out of the house, his heart at peace. He and Emma had parted on a good note, and he was sure his secret was safe.

* * *

It was midday before Buck saw Erin again. She had brought everyone lunch as they worked on the pasture fence. Before she left, she grabbed Buck's arm and pulled him to the side.

"Given the happy mood you're in, I suppose everything is alright with you and Aunt Emma?" she asked.

"Just fine. She had a misunderstanding and I cleared it up. Everything's fine now."

"Uh huh," Erin replied, disbelieving. "Was it about the stains on your shirt?"

Buck almost dropped the lemonade he was drinking. As it was, he turned his head to the side and sprayed out the liquid in his mouth. He had a split second to be thankful that he hadn't hit Erin.

"You knew about that?" he asked, shocked.

"Yes," Erin said matter-of-factly.

"Emma and I didn't know you knew. Why didn't you say anything?" Buck recognized it was not in Erin's nature to eavesdrop, so she had to have already known about the lip rouge on his shirt.

"I didn't have to. I was shocked and I admit, a little hurt, that you were keeping something from me, but then I figured that for you to do so meant it wasn't something important. I trust you, Buck."

Buck stared at her, amazed. How did become so blessed with this woman?

"Buck, are you there?"

Buck didn't realize he had been staring for a while until Erin waved her hand in front of his face.

"I'm here," he said, grinning. "I'm just wondering what I did to have the spirits bless me with you."

Erin smiled back.

"It really was nothing," Buck said, pleadingly.

Erin leaned forward and captured his lips with her own.

"I know."


	8. Chapter 8

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER EIGHT**

_My dearest Erin,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I am certain you are surprised to hear from me!_

_I am writing to beg your forgiveness. I was wrong to discard you the way I did. Arabella meant, and still means, nothing to me. I was caught up in the moment, and I admit, as you accused, her money. I know you are aware that your dowry leaves much to be desired. Since I was a small child, my mother has ingrained in me the importance of stability, but I have come to realize what is financial security without love? I love you still, Erin, and I hope you will forgive me. My engagement to Arabella has ended, and I pray that you will accept me again. I cannot wait to be back in your arms where I belong._

_Your father has accepted me again. He asks that I come to Sweetwater to collect you and return you to him. He has mentioned an infatuation with an unsuitable and undesirable young man. He wants you to come home before this gets out of hand._

_I will be arriving on the stage on September 14. Erin, there must be a man of the cloth in the town of Sweetwater. Why not go ahead and marry before we return? It will be a pleasant surprise for your father, and I cannot wait to have you as my wife, in every way._

_I pray this letter reaches you before then! I cannot wait to see you again and kiss your sweet lips._

_All of my love, _

_Thomas_

Erin Kelly scrunched the letter in her fist. She was angry; no, she was furious.

"He must be crazy if he thinks I will forgive him!" she growled, unaware that she had said the words aloud.

Thomas Henderson had broken her heart just eight short months ago. Erin's heart had since healed, and grown even stronger. That very heart warmed as she thought of her husband, Buck. They had been married in Kiowa tradition, but not yet in the white way. No one but her husband's white brother knew they were married. _And an entire Kiowa village, of course_, Erin thought.

_Buck!_ her mind screamed. _He must never know of this! He gets jealous enough as it is! But what can I do?_ Erin realized it was too late to stop Thomas from coming. September 14th was just a week away. Normally she would have just torn up the letter and forgotten about it, but she couldn't very well hide things when Thomas arrived. And her father? _"An infatuation with an unsuitable and undesirable man?" _ No, those words described her relationship with Thomas. Her father had always been blind to Thomas's gold-digging ways. Erin herself hadn't realized it until she caught him with Arabella Jones, the city's most conceited—and richest—eligible young lady. _He must think me to be an idiot_! Erin's best friend had written her weeks ago that Arabella had ended the engagement when she caught Thomas with a scullery maid. Arabella made sure that Thomas's reputation was ruined and now no respectable young lady would have anything to do with him. Erin's father wasn't rich, but he wasn't poor either. _Thomas must have realized that a small dowry is better than none at all, and my father probably thinks anyone is better than an Indian_, Erin thought. The fact that her father did not accept Buck made her heart ache_._ He was willing to disown her over the matter.

Frustrated, Erin tore the letter into small pieces and threw it in the rubbish bin in the kitchen. Her mind was filled with worry, but she had seven days to think of a solution.

* * *

Six days later and the only solution Erin could think of was to meet Thomas at the stage and send him on his way. The only problem was how she was to get to town without Buck knowing. She had promised she would not leave the station without an escort, and she really didn't want to after being kidnapped by Indians almost two months prior. Erin shivered as she remembered. The end result had been good, but she knew she was lucky.

_Maybe Aunt Emma will help me_, Erin thought. _If we both carry a gun, we'll be alright, and Buck lets Emma go to town all the time by herself. He shouldn't complain about me going with her._

Two hours later, after much explaining, Emma agreed to meet the stage with Erin.

"I want to be there to give him a piece of my mind!" was the first thing she exclaimed. Then, she looked thoughtful. Her tone was soft as she asked, "He's the reason you came out here, isn't he?"

Erin nodded. "I needed to get away. I was embarrassed and heartbroken."

"Well, we'll make sure he leaves and DOES NOT come back," Emma replied.

"Yes, we will."

* * *

The next day Erin stood with Emma, waiting for the stage to arrive. It was already two hours late, and Erin was getting nervous. If they weren't back soon, Buck would come looking for them. Erin hated that Buck worried so, but she loved him for it just the same. She didn't want to lie to him, but she felt she couldn't tell him the truth. Buck wouldn't understand why she insisted on meeting an old lover, so she told him that they were going to lunch and then shopping for dresses at the new milliner in town. He had tried to accompany them until Emma had told him it was for a time for women only and he was to stay at the station. Buck's tight-lipped expression let them know that he wasn't happy.

Just then, the sound of a team of horses reached Erin's ears, and the telltale cloud of dust came into view. The stage was arriving! Erin immediately felt a bundle of nerves begin to grow in her stomach.

Rolling to a stop, the first passengers off were an elderly couple. Then, Thomas emerged, and began looking for his bag. Erin noticed a woman with a baby was the last one to depart the stage. _Typical Thomas, not letting a woman go before him._

It was only after he hefted his bag off the ground that Thomas began looking around for Erin. When he saw her waiting, he lifted his arms in greeting.

"Darling!" he exclaimed, obviously waiting for her to run into those open arms. Erin just stood and stared at him. Disappointed, Thomas lowered his arms and rushed to Erin. He puckered his lips as if expecting a kiss.

"Darling, I have missed you so!"

Erin still stood impassively, showing no emotional reaction to Thomas. He looked puzzled as he drew back.

"What's wrong? Why no kiss or hug for your true love?"

Emma stood behind Erin in silent support. She knew her niece needed to handle the situation herself, but she would be there in case Erin needed her.

"I will always have a hug and a kiss for my true love, but he's back at the station right now." Erin didn't hesitate as she continued, "Now tell me what in the hell you are doing here."

Both Thomas and Emma gasped at Erin's choice of words.

"Erin, language!" Thomas chided. Erin rolled her eyes. "You know why I'm here! I'm here to take you home! Away from this place! And hopefully to marry you before we go!"

Emma snorted, causing Thomas to finally take notice of her.

"And you would be…" Thomas queried, looking down his nose at her, his lips curled as if he had encountered something distasteful. Emma, not intimated in the slightest, stepped forward.

"I'm Emma Shannon, Erin's aunt. I assume you must be Thomas Henderson, the cad who broke my niece's heart."

Thomas didn't miss a beat. His words immediately took on a respectful tone as he spoke.

"Regretfully, that is me; but I understand now the hurt I caused our dear Erin and I am here to beg her forgiveness. She is the love of my life, and despite her…infatuation, I can assure you I am the one that holds her heart."

It was Erin's turn to snort.

"Here's my advice, Thomas," she began. "Get yourself a ticket for the next stage out of here. We're leaving."

Thomas gaped, clearly astonished.

"Erin, you can't be serious! We are meant to be together!"

Erin gave Thomas a look of disgust. She turned on her heel and calmly walked to the wagon. Emma was right behind her. Unfortunately, Thomas followed them, pleading the entire time.

"Erin, darling, you can't be serious! Think of how much we love each other! You said you would love me for all time! Did you lie to me?"

Erin stopped mid-stride and turned to him.

"No, I didn't, but that was before I knew what love was. Now that I do, I realize the only thing I had for you was a gentle affection that I _thought_ was love. Until you betrayed me, that is."

"That was a mistake, a _horrible_ mistake on my part. Again, I ask—no I _beg_—that you forgive me. If not now, then I'm sure after we are wed you will be able to."

_I'm already married_! Erin wanted to scream, but she bit her tongue. It would do no good to announce that in front of Aunt Emma, who would be upset that Erin hadn't told her about the Kiowa ceremony. She might not even recognize it and demand they marry in the white way immediately. They couldn't do that yet or Buck wouldn't be able to ride for the Pony Express. Erin knew how much he loved his job and would never do anything to take it away from him.

"It will never happen! Now get yourself back on that stage and GO AWAY!"

Emma and Erin turned and began walking again as Thomas stood in defeat.

"I have two return tickets for the next stage, but it isn't until three days from now."

"Get a room at the hotel!" Emma called over her shoulder.

Thomas rushed to them.

"I haven't the money," he whispered to Erin. "I had counted on staying with your aunt," he confessed.

Erin turned and looked at him.

"Didn't my father give you enough money for this trip?"

"Only enough to over the necessities," Thomas admitted, clearly embarrassed that Erin's father had to finance his travel. "You know your father is tight with money."

"Only with you. He probably thought you would run off if you had enough money."

Thomas, all attempts at grace and respectability gone, nodded.

"Probably," he muttered. "Please help me, Erin," he pleaded. "If not because you forgive me, then in honor of all we once had."

Erin sighed. As much as she disliked Thomas, she couldn't leave him to sleep on the streets for two nights. She turned to Emma.

"Looks like we'll be having a guest for a few days," Emma said.

_Buck is going to be so disappointed in me when he learns the truth. _

* * *

Buck Cross was starting to panic. He'd been worried ever since Erin and Emma had driven out of the yard. He'd wanted to go with them but Emma had shut down that idea. He wanted to follow them from a distance, but Ike had stopped him while Buck was saddling his horse.

_*You can't smother her. It's like your jealousy; it will drive her away*_

Knowing Ike was right, Buck reluctantly put the saddle away.

_That was four hours ago. They should be back by now! How long does it take to have lunch and look at some stupid dresses? Thirty more minutes and I'm going looking for them._

Just then Buck heard the tell-tale sound of the wagon creaking into the yard. He breathed a sigh of relief; they were back. Walking out the greet them, Buck realized they weren't alone. With them was a man a little older than him—a good-looking, finely dressed man. His interest was immediately piqued. Who was this man?

As Buck approached the wagon to help Erin down, the man awkwardly jumped out of the back and ran up to where Erin was waiting for Buck to help her. Erin immediately slapped his hands away as his reached for her and looked toward Buck, an expression on her face that he couldn't decipher. When Buck arrived at the wagon, he placed his hands on Erin's waist and helped her down as the man watched, clearly frustrated. Buck stretched his face toward Erin's and was immediately rewarded with a kiss. Erin sighed and reached her arms around Buck's waist, resting her head on his shoulder and burying her face in his neck as if she had a rough day. Buck's arm immediately went around her as his other hand reached to her hair. He kissed the top of her head. Upon seeing this intimacy, the strange man immediately recoiled.

"This man your father told me about is _an Indian_?" he said, disgust dripping from every word.

Buck was used to such insults and remained impassive. Erin, however, was not and immediately responded, drawing herself out of Buck's arms and speaking with clenched teeth.

"Yes, he is, and unless you want to sleep in the streets and not eat for the next two days, I suggest you keep your ignorance to yourself!" she snarled, her voice rising as she spoke. Thomas flinched but held his tongue.

Buck's curiosity got the best of him.

"Who is this man?"

Erin opened her mouth to speak but Thomas drew himself to his full height.

"I am Thomas Daniel Henderson III and I was sent by Erin's father to fetch her. I am taking her home in two days and we are to be married."

Buck began to see red but then heard Erin's annoyed snort. This man obviously had no idea what he was talking about. There was nothing to be jealous of, and who could blame Henderson for wanting to marry Erin? _Too bad for him that she's already my wife_, he thought. Buck couldn't help but smile as he turned to Erin.

"I'll leave you to this then. Let me know if you need to take a break," he stated, calmly walking away.

Erin watched him go. Thomas couldn't help but note the fondness on her face. _Why, Erin is in love_, he thought with disappointment. _Well, I'll just have to try harder, then. There's no way I can leave here without her._

* * *

That evening at supper Thomas made a spectacle of himself, ordering Cody to move so that he could sit beside his "lady love." _I always hated that phrase_, Erin thought. When he tried to pour Erin's water he stumbled and spilled it all over Emma instead. Erin felt the tiniest bit sorry for Thomas when everyone but Buck erupted in laughter.

Erin wondered what Buck was thinking. She hadn't had a chance to explain things to him since they arrived home. While she was grateful that he didn't cause a scene, she knew she owed an explanation to her husband. She suspected he would not be happy once he learned of the entire situation.

* * *

It was after everyone went to bed that Buck and Erin finally had a chance to talk. Brushing her hair, Erin heard the tap-tap-tap of someone at the window. Smiling, she went and drew back the curtains to find Buck waiting for her. Her smile faded when she saw the serious look on Buck's face as she helped him through the window.

"Care to explain what's going on?"

Erin had already decided what she would tell Buck: she had thought about what to say all afternoon.

"Thomas was my fiancé up until about eight months ago. He broke my heart when I found him with another girl. A rich girl, which helped me realize that he is only after money. I came out here to help get over the heartbreak. I met you, fell in love, got married, and have not regretted anything. You make me happier then I have ever been."

A soft smile crossed Buck's face as he reached to caress Erin's cheek. He had never been happier either. After a few seconds he snapped back to the conversation.

"Is this what you went to town for? There's more you're not telling me."

She nodded. _He's disappointed in me_, thought Erin. _I should have told him everything when I first got the letter_.

"About a week ago I got a letter from Thomas asking for my forgiveness. He wrote that my father was sending him to fetch me and I should prepare to go back. He said my father told him that I was infatuated with an unsuitable man. Thomas said I should…" Her voice trailed off.

"Should what?"

"Prepare to have a preacher ready so we could marry before we left Sweetwater."

Buck clenched his teeth. He mentally counted to ten as Erin continued.

"When we met the stage, he didn't have any money for a hotel, so Aunt Emma said he could stay here for the two nights before the return stage."

Buck counted to twenty this time.

"And you didn't see fit to tell me about this?"

"I thought if I could get Thomas to go away then you would be none the wiser."

"I am your husband and it is my job to help you, especially where another man is concerned."

"I know. I was worried it would upset you, so I enlisted Aunt Emma to help me instead."

"The only thing that would upset me is if you _wanted_ to return with him. Do you want that?"

"No!" The word fell from Erin's lips before she even realized she had spoken. "No," she said again.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that at least. Erin, I would have handled this for you. I would have met him at the stage and you could have stayed here and been safe, too. Are you-"

Buck took a deep breath.

"Are you ashamed of me?" Buck asked.

"NO!" Erin said firmly. "Never!"

Buck breathed a sigh of relief. He was clearly still not happy, though.

"Buck, I know you're disappointed in me, but I thought I was doing what was best," Erin began. Buck interrupted her.

"That's where you're wrong." Erin's heart sunk. _He's angrier than I expected_.

"Erin, you don't disappoint me. It is impossible for Erin Kelly Cross to ever disappoint me. What does disappoint me is your choice to be so careless. Leaving me out of this was the worst possible decision you could have made."

Although still contrite, Erin felt her heart warm at Buck's words. _He truly does love me no matter what._

"I know, and I will never leave you out again."

Buck leaned forward to give Erin a quick kiss on the lips.

"You do that."

* * *

The next morning Thomas was curiously subdued. He sat in between Lou and Cody, and was uncharacteristically quiet. _He's planning something_, both Erin and Buck thought.

Thomas made his move around 10:00, when Erin was dusting the front room. She had been on pins and needles all morning, wondering what he was plotting.

"Erin? Darling?"

"I told you not to call me 'darling'," she grumbled.

When Thomas didn't respond, she turned around. Before she knew it, his lips were on hers.

:

Buck had been trying to keep an eye on Erin all morning long. Thomas was planning something, and while he didn't believe he would deliberately hurt her, whatever stupid thing he did would probably backfire and have a chance of doing so.

Buck decided to head to the house with the excuse of wanting some lemonade. He'd go through the front door—that's where he last saw Erin.

:

All Erin could feel was disgust. Thomas was kissing her, his arms around her, trying to force his tongue into her mouth. Without even thinking, she reared back to hit Thomas with her fist.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!" she screamed.

:

Buck opened the door and stepped into the parlor just in time to see Erin turn around to Thomas's waiting lips. Shocked, he stood still for a moment before snapping to action. Storming over to the two, he barely registered a twinge of pride when Erin punched Thomas.

:

Emma Shannon hummed as she worked in the kitchen. The serenity of the moment was shattered when she heard Erin scream to not do something again. There was a ruckus in the parlor. She grabbed a towel and wiped her hands clean of dough as she ran.

:

Emma came upon a scene of chaos in her parlor. Thomas and Buck stood shouting at each other with Erin in between them, trying her best to hold them apart. Buck stood with clenched fists while Thomas held his own. _I bet if Erin weren't holding Buck back, Thomas would be running_, thought Emma as she entered the room.

"Enough!" she yelled, but the two men were so loud that she could not be heard.

"I knew her long before you did! We have history together!"

"You betrayed her and then you show up here thinking you have a chance?"

"I know I do! She's taken with you but she loves me!"

"No, she DOESN'T!"

"She's to be my wife!

"SHE'S ALREADY MY WIFE!"

Dead silence descended on the parlor. Thomas recovered first.

"Erin, is this true?" he asked, straightening his shirt.

Erin hesitated.

"Erin?"

Emma's voice echoed across the room.

Erin met her aunt's eyes.

"Yes," she said.

Silence reigned for a few beats, then Emma asked, "For how long?"

"We married in the Kiowa village when we were there. About two months ago."

"Two months, and you didn't tell me?"

Erin started to speak, but Thomas interrupted.

"An Indian wedding! That doesn't count! Some heathen ceremony in the middle of a village with savages! Unless you—Erin you didn't…_consummate_ this 'marriage,' did you?"

Erin sharply turned to Thomas.

"That is none of your business and you'd better leave now before I let go of my husband and he puts you in the ground."

Thomas's eyes flicked to Buck's, who stood staring at him. Thomas gulped at the look in Buck's eyes.

"She's right," Emma's voice cut through the tension. "Mr. Henderson, I want you to leave my home. You'd best go before I kill you for trying to kiss my niece. I'll have Mr. Spoon take you into town and you can figure out where you'll sleep on your own. Erin and Buck, you'd both better come with me."

Thomas turned and quickly walked to his room to retrieve his things. Erin and Buck looked at each other and resignedly followed after Emma.


	9. Chapter 9

I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN.

_NOTE: I do not speak French. Thank you Google translator._

**NUMBER NINE**

**:**

Kathleen Devlin was in the store.

Buck had thought he'd surprise Erin with a piece of her favorite candy. As he walked toward the peppermint sticks, he heard the sound of Kathleen's laughter from across the store. Buck stopped dead in his tracks and cringed.

In a town as small as Sweetwater, Buck had to run into her occasionally. Usually he saw her every time he came to town but he always managed to avoid her. At first, he felt heartache—he had really fancied himself in love with her. As time went on, he realized all he had was infatuation, and now that he found love he was astonished that he had ever felt anything for her. The only thing that Kathleen and Erin had in common was the fact that they were both young women. Erin was sweeter, kinder, smarter, funnier, and certainly beat Kathleen in the looks department. In fact, several times Buck had watched as Kathleen turned red with jealousy as she saw Erin turn heads simply by walking.

Now there was no way to avoid her. She was standing by the peppermint. He considered turning around, but then he realized this would be letting her win. Buck was nothing but disgusted by her, and besides, he really wanted to surprise his girl.

Buck straightened his back and walked right up to Kathleen, who paled the moment she saw him. _Is she afraid that I will make a scene? Does she really think I care?_

"Buck!" Kathleen said breathily.

"Excuse me, but you're standing by the peppermint and I would like to purchase some."

Kathleen looked surprised., then she smiled prettily.

"Of course," she replied, barely moving out of the way.

Buck rolled his eyes and stepped to the counter, giving Kathleen as wide a berth as possible. He didn't want to brush against her; she'd probably say he attacked her or something.

Buck opened the jar and pulled out several sticks. He was putting the lid back on when he felt Kathleen's body pressed to his side.

"You know, peppermint is my favorite candy too," she breathed into his ear.

Buck jerked away as if stung by some vapid bee. _She's flirting with me_, he thought disbelievingly. _After all she did, she's flirting with me!_

Buck's disgust grew tenfold, and he hadn't thought it could get any greater. He turned around and headed toward the shopkeeper. AS he reached the register, he heard the bell chime to indicate that another person had entered. Looking up, he spotted Erin. He smiled at his girl as she came to join him.

"Peppermint!" Erin squealed, albeit softly. Her tone turned flirtatious. "Is that for me, good sir?"

Buck's grin was huge as he replied, "Yes, my lady, these are for you. I meant to surprise you, but you came a little early."

"I'm surprised all the same. Thank you, Buck." And, ignoring all the dirty looks they were already receiving, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek.

The shopkeeper saw the kiss and wanted to tell them to leave, but money was money. He made quick work of ringing them up so they would leave as soon as possible.

Erin linked her arm through Buck's and led him to the door. Standing by it was Kathleen, whom she recognized. Lou had related all of the story to her when she first began showing interest in Buck. Holding her head high, she continued walking as if nothing was wrong. She looked back to check on Buck and was proud to see he was doing the same.

"_Quelque chose sent mauvais ici_,"* Kathleen muttered as she passed, just loud enough for the three to hear.

Erin did not miss a beat.

"_Alors, tu ferais mieux de prendre un bain,_"** she said in a loud, clear voice.

Buck had time to glimpse Kathleen look shocked, then ashamed as he reached the door. He couldn't help but stop to speak.

"Guess you didn't know her mother was from Paris!" he relayed to Kathleen, watching her turn bright red.

Buck silently laughed his way out of the store.

* * *

*Something smells bad in here.*

**Well, then, you'd better take a bath.**


	10. Chapter 10

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER TEN**

Birds chirped and leaved swayed in the wind. Despite the summer heat, the day was a pleasant one due to the storm that had passed through the night before.

_This is a fantastic day for a picnic_, Buck thought.

It couldn't have come at a better time. A week ago was the Sweetwater Summer Social, and only six days ago Buck had received Emma's blessing to court her niece, Erin. Buck was ecstatic to be courting Erin, but he was running out of activities for them to do together.

They still spent the evenings together as Erin sewed and mended, and Buck always brought her the tea she needed to sleep. They had taken long walks through the prairie surrounding the station. They had sat and watched the sunset together, and one sunrise when Erin had surprised him as he returned from his morning prayers. Now, Buck was at a loss as to what they could do next. He couldn't take her to dinner at the restaurant in town as they'd always refused service to Buck. He supposed they could go for more walks but those would get boring. A picnic would be a perfect activity for them, and maybe he could muster up the courage to ask her to be his girl.

Buck had never asked a girl to be his before. In the village, he and Little Bird had basically remained strangers to each other, their developing relationship cut short by the attack that killed his mother and brought her back to the white world. At the orphanage, no females besides the nuns would go near him. He had wanted to ask Kathleen, but thankfully he saw her true colors before he did. Buck certainly didn't want any of the women who approached him when he was on his runs. Now he had no experience when he finally met the woman of his dreams, and, spirits be blessed, she had agreed to let _him_ court her.

Buck knew he had friends he could ask, but the one he approached had not been any help. When he asked Kid how he had asked Lou to be his girl, Kid had only said, "I never asked; it just happened." Buck had walked away even more frustrated than he had been in the beginning. Ike had never courted a girl and Cody had but had never been serious enough about one to ask her. Jimmy he would NOT ask because he was still sore that Erin had chosen Buck and not him. This left Lou, who was as helpful as she could be. "Just take a deep breath and ask. Explain that you want to be her one and only and she is your one and only and everything will be alright. Don't worry. She's obviously crazy about you and will say yes!"

Buck wasn't so sure about the "saying yes" part. He knew Erin liked him and enjoyed his company, but what if her interest wore off and she decided she'd rather not be courted by him? Buck wanted more than just an official courtship—that was just a formal relationship and didn't indicate that they truly cared for one another. He wanted others to know that they weren't just courting, they _wanted_ to be together.

Buck sighed and set off to see Emma about packing a picnic for lunch.

* * *

Buck and Erin had been eating silently for the past ten minutes. He didn't know what to say. They had discussed the weather, then Emma's cooking, his latest run, and even Erin's latest sewing project. He had absolutely zero interest in the latter but had not known what else to talk about. Erin looked like she was suspicious of something when he asked about quilts. _If he is so nervous, then he's planning something_, she thought.

Erin finished eating before Buck. _Now that's a first. Something really is up for him to take his time eating_.

Buck was shaking as he tried to finish his fried chicken. He was going to burst with nervous energy. He had practiced a short speech last night in the mirror but now he couldn't remember anything. _What should I say? How should I start? Should I give a long explanation or just ask? WHAT DO I DO? _

Buck could feel himself beginning to sweat. He knewErin was getting suspicious of his intentions. _Oh no! What if she thinks I brought her up here to do something improper? Not that I would mind if she wanted to. No, stay focused! 'Erin, I absolutely adore you and…and…and…'_ Buck felt like his brain was imploding—everything was a jumble.

"Willyoubemygirl?"

Buck winced. Had he really blurted that out loud? He wanted to be what Cody referred to as "suave," but he was pretty sure he had just blown it.

"What did you say?"

"Uhm…"

"You just spoke so fast that I didn't understand you."

Buck squeezed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths. Opening his eyes, he began speaking.

"Erin, you are the most wonderful girl I've ever known. You're kind, and sweet, and funny, and so, so smart, not mention you're so beautiful. If it's alright with you, I want you to be my girl."

Erin looked confused.

"Your girl? What exactly does that mean?"

Buck turned a pretty shade of pink. _How does she not know what this means?_

"You know, my girl. My one and only. Your one and only."

"Your one and only what?" Buck noticed Erin looked genuinely confused.

Sighing, Buck explained, "I'm not sure. Lou told me to say that."

Erin smiled encouragingly, prompting Buck to continue.

"All I know is that it means you are more to me than just someone I am courting. Courting is so formal and it can be between two people who can't stand each other but whose parents are forcing them too. When I call you my girl, I'm saying that I'm serious about you, and you're serious about me. It shows everyone we want to be together and that you are so special to me that I wanted to make you mine," Buck explained. "Not in a literal way, of course," he hastily added, lest she misunderstood.

Erin was thoughtful for a few moments. Buck's anxiety rose tenfold for every one of those moments.

"I have a question," she said.

"Yes," Buck ventured, tentatively.

"If I'm your girl, then what does that make you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you my boy?"

Buck hesitated. He had never thought about that part. He was stumped, so he decided to speak from his heart.

"Erin, if you agree to be my girl then I'll be whatever you want to call me."

Erin broke into the adoring smile she seemed to save only for Buck.

"Then yes, I'll be your girl."

Buck gave a whoop of joy. Jumping up, he pulled Erin to her feet. Swinging her around once, he leaned forward and captured her lips with his own, devouring her mouth. So involved was he in the kiss that he didn't noticed he'd kicked over the pitcher of lemonade. Erin gave a yelp as the liquid spilled over her shoes and the bottom of her dress.

"I'm so sorry!" Buck truly was panicked.

"It's okay," Erin said.

"No, I'm so sorry! Here let me help you!" He frantically tried to dry Erin's feet with his handkerchief, mumbling apologies the entire time.

"BUCK!" Erin raised her voice, finally getting his attention. Buck stopped his ministrations and slowly stood up.

"Buck," she asked. "Am I always going to be exasperated with you?"

"Probably. My mother and brother always said that I could be pretty annoying."

Erin laughed. "That's not what I mean. Exasperated means, hmm, it means I don't know what to do with you. For me it is an affectionate feeling. I'm not mad, or annoyed, just…challenged."

"Well, I guess that's better than annoyed."

Both Buck and Erin dissolved into laughter.


	11. Chapter 11

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER ELEVEN**

_Here he comes_, Erin Kelly thought to herself. _Keep it together this time!_

Erin was nervous. Her secret crush, Buck Cross, was walking across the yard toward the back door of the house. It was breakfast time and everyone was meeting at the table in the kitchen. Erin barely registered the voices of the others behind her as peered out the window. She tried to appear nonchalant, but caught Lou's knowing grin when she turned around.

Erin really liked Lou. In the past two weeks she had been at Aunt Emma's place, now a Pony Express station, she and Lou had become fast friends. Lou didn't come out and say she was a girl, but Erin knew the first time they met.

Now Erin was certain Lou knew of her secret crush on Buck Cross. The first time she saw Buck she immediately turned red and mumbled a hello. Erin was used to men blushing and stammering around her, but she never thought she'd meet someone who made her that way. She wasn't conceited-she just had never thought she'd find someone she liked so much.

Erin returned Lou's smile with a shy one of her own. Lou nodded encouragingly as Buck came through the door. Erin continued stirring the potatoes she had just taken off the stove and turned to greet Buck.

"Good morning," Buck said, giving her a sunny smile.

_He is so handsome_, was all Erin could think. She realized she was staring when Buck gave her a strange look. _He probably expects a response, you dod_o! her mind screamed at her. She lowered her eyes before responding, noticing that Buck had lost his smile.

"G-G-Good morning," Erin mumbled back. She knew she must have flushed pink like she always did when Buck spoke to her.

Buck gave her nod and, with a small sigh, he moved to his chair by Ike.

Erin gave her own sigh as she resumed stirring the potatoes, heading for her chair between Cody and Emma. Placing the bowl on the table, she took her seat. Cody turned red as usual and mumbled something Erin couldn't hear. She smiled and nodded at him, then picked up her fork.

Erin wanted to glance down the table at Buck. Had he noticed she put his utensils on his left side this morning? She was constantly stealing glances at him. He'd caught her several times and Erin was sure she again became as red as a beet when he did.

It was with one of those previous glances that she noticed Buck was left-handed. When Aunt Emma set the table, or even one of the other Riders did, they always put the knife and spoon on the right side. Buck would move them to the left side when he sat down.

Allowing herself to sneak a quick peek at Buck, she realized she was too late to see if he had noticed how she set the table differently that morning. He was already eating, eyes on his fried eggs. Erin bit her lip and returned to her own breakfast.

* * *

"Alright, spill!" Lou ordered Erin after breakfast. The others had left and it was only Emma, Lou, and Erin left in the kitchen.

"Shh!" Erin said, her eyes darting to Emma.

"I can hear you, you know," Emma said across the room. "And I bet this has something to do with your crush on Buck," she added. Erin was shocked, her mouth dropping open.

Lou had a great big smile on her face. "I knew I was right!" she exclaimed.

Erin was still staring at her aunt. "How did you know?"

"Erin, you blush when he's around and you can't form a complete sentence without tripping over your words. That's what love does to you."

Erin closed her mouth and felt her cheeks start to burn.

"So, how long have you had this crush?" Lou asked.

Emma answered before Erin could finish her thoughts. "I'd say from the moment she met him. Remember she looked like a little tomato that could barely say hello?"

Lou thought back to the night Erin arrived. "Yes," she exclaimed. "I do think you're right!"

Erin cleared her throat. "It's just a little crush," she said timidly.

Lou grinned. "If you say so!"

Erin's expression turned worried. "You're not going to say anything, are you?"

The teasing expression on Lou's face disappeared. "No! Of course not!"

Emma spoke up. "Neither of us will."

Erin breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't know how to stop acting like an idiot whenever he's around," she said in a small voice.

After a couple of moments of silence, Lou began to speak softly.

"Erin, he is a flesh and blood human being like you. And like you, he is a fantastic person, one of the best I've ever met. Remember this whenever you are with him. Besides, I think he is beginning to think there's something wrong with him for you to act this way."

"No! There's not a thing wrong with him," Erin said. "He's perfect," she added dreamily.

Lou looked over to Emma and snickered, bringing Erin back to the real world.

Emma spoke up. "When I met my husband, I was the same way you are. Your father told me to just imagine him naked and your nerves will vanish." She smiled as she spoke.

Lou responded immediately. "I think she already does, and that's part of the problem!"

Erin could feel her face flaming.

"Little tomato!" Lou said, and she and Emma dissolved into giggles.

* * *

That evening Erin sat on the porch, mending the quilt that lay on her bed. Several little holes hadn't been patched in a while, and so absorbed in her work was she that Buck's arrival went unnoticed. Usually she would know when anyone was approaching.

"Erin?"

"Buck!" Erin jerked so hard that she dropped the quilt to the ground. She knew her mouth was open in shock.

Buck bent down to pick up the quilt. As he handed it back to her, she could see that his cheeks were beginning to flame. Erin remembered what Lou had told her: Buck was beginning to think there was something wrong with him in order for her to act this way. She couldn't keep on doing that to anyone, especially Buck.

_Pull yourself together. You're making him feel bad_.

Erin took a deep breath and reached out her hand. "Thank you," she said. She hoped she had sounded confident. She made sure to look straight in his eyes as she spoke.

Buck noticed the change in her demeanor almost immediately. Gone were the downcast eyes and the small voice. Usually she stammered on her first words to him. Handing the quilt back to her, he decided to take a leap of faith.

"Mind if I join you?"

Erin decided to take her own leap of faith.

"Of course not."


	12. Chapter 12

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER TWELVE**

**:**

**:**

Jimmy Hickok was nervous. It wasn't the same caliber of nervousness that he had when in a gunfight, but he was jumpy all the same. Jimmy was in love. He had been in love before but that hadn't worked out too well. This time, he was sure everything would work out, if only he could get a chance at real-life courting.

Walking across the yard to the house, he rehearsed everything he wanted to say. _Emma, I know this may come as a surprise, but I wanted to ask your permission to court your niece. I think Erin is the most wonderful girl I have ever met, and I want the chance to prove to her, and to you, that I would make a good husband. I want the chance to get to know her better and for her to get to know me better._

Stopping in his tracks, he wondered about the wording of his speech. _Perhaps I should forget the part about making a good husband_. Jimmy tentatively took a few steps, then his confidence returned. _Yes,_ he thought, now with a determined stride. _It's too early for that. I'll get to that later_.

Jimmy wondered if Erin was aware of his feelings. _She's got to know_, he thought. _I spend as much time with her as I can, and I haven't been exactly subtle, but sometimes she seems like she has no idea. No matter though, soon she will know._

Jimmy thought to his friend Buck. Buck had been the one Erin had asked to dance for the ladies' choice at the latest Sweetwater social three days ago. It had nearly broken Jimmy's heart until he decided that perhaps Erin was genuinely unaware of the depth of his feelings for her. Perhaps she thought he just had a crush. After the dance Buck had the nerve to try and speak for Erin and say she never meant to hurt anyone. Jimmy was enraged. Buck couldn't have known how she felt and he had no business trying to speak for her. Jimmy told Buck that he was still going to try to win Erin.

Since the dance, he had been "treated" to the sight of Buck and Erin on long walks. Those long walks broke his heart. He had already been jealous of the time Buck spent with Erin after dinner. Jimmy had tried to join them but all they did was talk about boring things. He fell asleep several times before he just decided to stay away. _And that's what did it. That's what made Buck feel like he could go after my girl_. Jimmy decided to be more vigilant in the future.

Entering the back door, he found Emma rolling out dough for the biscuits for the evening meal. She was engrossed in her task, but still managed to hear him. Jimmy loved that about Emma: she always paid attention to her "boys" and was there for them when they needed her.

"Hello Jimmy. You're early! Supper isn't for another two hours!" Emma exclaimed, a smile on her lips.

"Well, I know, but I came to ask you something."

Emma noticed the serious expression on Jimmy's face. She had never seen him like this before. Her demeanor immediately changed from jesting to one of concern.

"Alright Jimmy," she said, wiping her hands on a towel. "I hope everything is okay." Emma was getting worried.

"Everything's fine, it's just this is real important to me."

Emma motioned for Jimmy to sit at the table. Taking a chair beside him, she asked, "What is it?"

Jimmy took a deep breath. "I was hoping you would give me your permission to ask Erin if I can court her."

Emma started to speak, the concern etched on her face growing more and more prominent.

Jimmy held up a hand. "Emma, please let me finish. I know I'm nowhere good enough for her, no one ever will be, but I want to try and show her, and you, just how important she is to me. I want her to get to know me better, and I want to know her better."

Having finished his plea, there was dead silence in the room. Emma sat surprised and stunned. The butterflies in Jimmy's stomach were dancing a jig in tandem.

Emma took a deep breath. "Well, Jimmy," she began, speaking very slowly as if gathering her thoughts. She stopped and took another breath before speaking at a normal rate.

"Well, Jimmy," she said again, "I have to say my answer is 'no.'"

Jimmy's face fell. Even though he was nervous about asking her, he had never truly believed Emma would refuse him. He decided to make a last-ditch plea. Maybe he could change her mind.

"Emma, like I said, I know I'm not good enough for her, but I think I would make a good husband. Please, please give me a chance."

Emma's eyebrows arched at his mention of the word "husband," but she managed to keep the surprise out of her voice.

"It's not that I think you're not good enough for her," her voice soft. "It's that Buck already asked me yesterday and I gave my blessing."

Jimmy felt his world crash around him. He barely heard Emma's next words.

"And I don't think it'd be appropriate for more than one man to court her at a time, don't you think?"

Jimmy didn't answer. As he stared into space, he started to get angry.

_That little snake! He went ahead and asked! I've been showing my interest ever since she arrived, and he up and goes behind my back to ask if he can court her! I spend as much time as I can with her, and all he does is sit by the fire and watch her sew! _It momentarily dawned on Jimmy that perhaps that was Buck's way of showing his interest.

_It doesn't matter_, Jimmy thought, his temper growing. _He should have known better!_

Jimmy loved Buck like a brother, but this was too much. He wanted Erin to be _his_ girl, and he had thought that was on track to happen. The ladies' choice at the social had to be a fluke. Erin seemed to always enjoy his company. _It's not too late_, Jimmy thought.

"Jimmy? Jimmy? Are you okay?"

Jimmy realized Emma was calling his name. He snapped to attention.

"Yes, Emma?"

"I realize you must be disappointed, but I really think it's best that only one man court her at a time." Emma took a gentle tone. "And she was very excited when I told her Buck had asked."

Jimmy felt his temper flare even more, but he realized he couldn't show that to Emma. He forced a smile to his face.

"Of course I understand, Emma. Don't you worry yourself over me. We'll see how things go and if it doesn't work out, then I'll ask again."

Emma smiled, relieved that Jimmy had taken the news so well. "That sounds like a good plan," she stated.

Jimmy smiled and rose from the table. After wishing Emma a good day, he headed back to the bunkhouse.

_It's not over_, he vowed.

Emma stood in the kitchen, looking out the window at Jimmy crossing the yard. _I hope that poor boy knows it's all over for him. He doesn't stand a chance_, she thought, starting to cut the dough for her biscuits.


	13. Chapter 13

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER THIRTEEN**

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**_THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED!_**

:

_Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no!_

Erin Kelly Cross was frantic as she studied the fancy calendar in her aunt's parlor. According to her count, her cycle was four days late and she was NEVER late_. My body is usually the only clock I can completely count on_, she thought.

She had been so careful with her counting, just like her older sister showed her. And, when her aunt had found out that she and Buck had been married, Emma had made it clear that she'd rather they not have "marital relations" until they took Christian vows at a traditional wedding. While Emma acknowledged that Buck and Erin considered themselves married, she still didn't feel anything to be official until it happened in a church. Erin and Buck lived under her roof, and they respected and loved Emma, so they decided to stay away from that kind of intimacy until they had a white ceremony. The problem was, it was just hard to stick to _certain_ things and not completely share each others' bodies. _There is nothing like the sensation of when we are one_, Erin thought, her eyes closing as she remembered.

Erin's eyes flew open. What was she going to do?

* * *

Later that evening at supper, Buck Cross knew there was something wrong with his wife. She had avoided him most of the day. At breakfast she had seemed fine, but when they all met in the kitchen for lunch she had barely looked at him. Now at supper he didn't even get his usual greeting of a kiss. Something, and he had no idea what, was amiss.

He tried to catch her eye as she sat down the table but Erin just stared at her plate, barely eating anything. _Maybe she's just not feeling well._ Buck hoped so. The last thing he wanted was his girl to be mad at him. He again looked in her direction. This time he was lucky enough to catch her eye. Giving her a concerned look, he mouthed "what's wrong?" Erin simply looked away. For the first time, Buck felt worry in his gut. Something had to be very, very wrong.

* * *

"Alright, what's going on?" Buck asked as he managed to corner Erin after supper.

Erin paled. "What makes you think something is going on?" She had vowed not to bother Buck with her worry. He had felt stressed lately what with Emma finding out about their marriage, so she was determined not to add to his worry. Perhaps she _was_ just late.

_But you've never been late before_, her mind whispered.

Telling that whisper to shut up, she tried to give Buck a nonchalant look. "There's nothing wrong. I'm just tired."

"Just tired?"

"Just tired."

Buck looked like he didn't believe her. _What's she hiding?_

Erin notice the disbelief on her husband's face. "Buck, I need you to trust me. I will let you know if something is bothering me." Erin felt horrible about the tiny lie, but she needed Buck to let her be before she started crying_. I'll give it three more days, and then I'll tell him. It's probably nothing anyway._

Buck took a deep breath. He would trust Erin; after all, she had never lied to him before.

* * *

Morning came and Erin woke up with a splitting headache. She only woke up with headaches when she was stressed. _Well, I guess that's to be expected when one may be pregnant._ She wanted nothing more than to share her worries with Buck, but that was out of the question at this point.

Erin's day just got worse and worse. At breakfast she spilled the potatoes on Cody and the coffee all over the floor. Her head hurt so bad she felt she was in a tunnel with everyone's voice a great distance away. She swayed and tried to sit, but before she knew it, everything went black.

Buck saw immediately that Erin wasn't well. He could guess she had a headache, and made a note to bring her some willow bark tea after breakfast. Dropping the potatoes was indicative of her pain, but when she dropped the coffee pot Buck knew something was very wrong. Jumping up from his chair, he managed to reach Erin right after Jimmy caught her.

There was chaos in the kitchen, and only Emma, Buck, and Teaspoon were calm. _Well, Teaspoon is still eating, so maybe he didn't notice_, Buck quickly thought as he took Erin from Jimmy's arms. He carried her to her room as he heard Emma telling the others to quiet down, everything was alright.

Laying Erin on the bed, Buck noted her pale skin. Her hands felt clammy. As Emma entered with a cold cloth, she gave Buck a knowing look. After she placed the cloth on Erin's forehead, she got up and closed the door. Buck jerked his head in surprise.

"Now Buck, I am going to ask you a question and I want you to please answer honestly. I know you both are trying your best to not have … _marital relations_, but I also remember what it was like to be your age. Tell me, have the two of you … _been together_ in the past few weeks?"

Buck wondered where Emma was going with this. He decided to answer honestly because he and Erin both loved and respected her.

"Emma, we've tried to not have … _marital relations_, but we have been weak a few times," Buck muttered. He could feel the heat in his cheeks.

Emma stared at Buck, who couldn't decipher the look on Emma's face. He was so uncomfortable that he couldn't help but cough.

"Well, I guess that explains it," Emma said with resignation.

Buck was still lost. "What explains what?" he asked.

Emma looked exasperated. "She has to be pregnant, Buck! Why else would she faint out of nowhere and be so pale? And hasn't she been acting strangely for the past day or so?"

Buck felt his heart drop to the floor and was pretty sure the color drained from his face. He had never thought of the possibility. He always knew it could happen, of course, but he had never paid it much attention. He was confident that Erin knew what she was doing. It had worked for the past three months. _Well, I guess only two months_, Buck thought.

Emma stood up. "We'd better get back to breakfast. I have to clean up and you have chores."

"Let someone else do my chores. I'm not leaving. I want to be here when she wakes up," Buck stated. His tone brokered no argument.

Emma gazed fondly at Buck. She was proud he wouldn't leave, and relieved. _Erin truly could have done no better_, she thought as she headed out the door.

* * *

Erin awoke to warmth and someone brushing the hair out of her face. That person leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She hummed in contentment. _Buck_, she thought.

Erin slowly opened her eyes to see Buck with a concerned look on his face.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"I'm fine. Just a headache."

A touch of anger crossed Buck's face for a second, then it was gone. Buck prayed Erin hadn't noticed, but by the way she shrank into herself, he knew she had seen it.

"Why are you mad at me?" Erin asked in a small voice.

Buck decided to be honest. "Because you lied to me."

"When did I lie to you?"

"First when you told me nothing was wrong. Then when you told me you'd tell me if anything was bothering you."

Erin's face lost some of its color. She knew she had been caught. Buck waited quietly for her to answer.

"I'm sorry," she finally said.

"It's okay," Buck immediately answered. He was not going to hold a grudge. "It's just…why didn't you tell me you may be pregnant?"

Erin gasped. "How did you figure it out?" she asked.

"I didn't," Buck answered. "Emma did."

Erin quietly groaned.

"Erin, we are a team, and when one of us is worried to the point of headaches and passing out, then the other needs to know so they can share the burden as well. Neither of us are in anything alone. Why didn't you tell me?"

Erin was quiet for another moment. "I didn't want to worry you. I figured I'd give it a few more days and then if I didn't start my monthly, I'd tell you. I hope it's just stress making me late."

Buck sighed. "Please don't ever lie to me again," he pleaded.

Erin quickly caught his eye. "Never," she vowed.

Buck nodded.

* * *

The following day was one of waiting. Erin felt no different, so she and Emma decided to go into town to see the doctor the next day. Emma was worried about what the doctor would think, but she had always known him to be discreet. She wasn't ashamed of Erin, she just knew her niece had had a hard enough time with the townspeople.

The next morning, Buck woke up early and saddled the horses to the buckboard. The ladies did not know it yet, but he was coming with them. There was no way he would let his wife do this alone, and if the doctor confirmed that Erin was pregnant, then maybe the preacher could marry them today.

Erin wandered into the barn as he cinched the last saddle.

"Good morning," she greeted him, subdued. "Why are you hitching the horses so early?" she asked, giving him a good morning kiss.

Buck gathered her in his arms. "So we can leave right after breakfast."

"We?" Erin asked.

"Yes, 'we,'" Buck replied. "I'm not letting you do this without me. Team, remember?"

Erin's eyes filled with tears and she dropped her head and nodded. She whispered something.

"Huh? Can you say that again? I didn't hear you."

Erin lifted her head and looked Buck straight in the eyes. "I said I'm not pregnant. I started my cycle sometime last night."

"Oh."

Buck took a deep breath. He expected many emotions, relief being first and center, but one he did not expect was disappointment. One look at Erin's face revealed she was feeling the same way.

Erin could read the disappointment in Buck's eyes. She nodded, acknowledging his feelings, as her own eyes filled with tears.

Buck pulled her even closer. "Now we can wait until we're ready. And then there'll be lots of babies."

"We can—and there will be lots," Erin agreed, leaning forward for a kiss.


	14. Chapter 14

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER FOURTEEN **

**:**

"After you, milady," Buck Cross said flirtatiously, holding open the door to the mercantile.

Erin Kelly, whom he held the door for, smiled back. Just as flirtatiously, she countered, "Oh no, I couldn't good sir, age must go before beauty!" A giggle escaped her lips.

Buck gave a quiet laugh. "I can't argue with that," he said, starting to go in before Erin.

"Now Buck, don't be so rude!" Jimmy Hickok interrupted. He walked up to them; he hadn't heard their conversation, just saw Buck start to go in front of Erin.

Buck felt his ire raise before Erin defended him. "He wasn't being rude, Jimmy. Buck was just teasing me."

_Jimmy at least has the decency to look chagrined_, Buck thought.

"Gee, I'm sorry Buck. Listen we don't you two relax out here and I'll run in a get that flour Emma needs," Jimmy said, eager to show Erin he was contrite about his mistake,

Buck started to protest when Erin interrupted. "Jimmy, what a good idea! It is a lovely day. We'll wait right here."

Jimmy frowned. He hadn't expected Erin to agree so quickly. Giving himself a mental shrug, he entered the mercantile.

As soon as the door closed, Buck and Erin looked at each other and then dissolved into laughter.

"This is a good thing. I hate going in there," Buck stated.

"Why?"

"It's just never a pleasant experience for me. Would you like to go for a walk along the boardwalk?"

"Certainly," Erin said, looping her arm through his.

Buck felt butterflies in his stomach. She was touching him! It had been three weeks since Erin had arrived, and only one week since she had worked through her fear of him being Indian. She hadn't ever initiated touching him! _Maybe we can get even closer, emotionally and physically_, he thought.

"So, what do you think Jimmy's doing right now?" Erin asked.

"Probably waiting in line, ready to dance out of his shoes with impatience!"

Erin laughed. Buck was hypnotized by the sound. _She has the prettiest laugh._

Just then, the tip of Erin's boot caught on her dress. Lurching forward, she braced herself for impact with the boardwalk, but Buck reached for her. _I am one lucky girl_, she thought, _being in the arms of the man of my dreams._

Buck was equally happy with the sensation of having Erin in his arms. He relished the feel of her as they stared at each other.

"Hey boy, you'd better git your hands off that white woman!"

The prospector's voice cut through the spell. Buck's eyes closed in resignation. Erin looked over Buck's shoulder at the man. Buck could see the rage in her eyes.

"What did you just say?" she hissed.

"Erin, let it go," Buck said, releasing her.

The prospector continued on as if Erin hadn't spoken. "That's better, you nasty Injun. And don't you think about touchin' another white woman as long as your sorry hide lives!"

Erin raised her voice. "Who do you think you are? We're minding our own business, and then you come along—"

"Erin," Buck said, his tone lethally quiet. "Let it _go_."

Erin looked at Buck. "I will _not _let it go," she hissed.

Buck knew what would happen if she kept arguing: things would get worse and put the both of them in even more danger.

"Erin, I need you to do as I say, before—"

"Injun, is you now tellin' that purty white gal what to do? Who in tarnation do you think you are? A white man?"

"What?! Who do you think you are, you stupid jerk! Why can't you mind—"

"Erin!" Buck interrupted. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Stop, please."

Erin took a close look at Buck. He looked panicked, and she had never seen him not self-assured and in control.

"Look at that! He's got that poor white gal all messed up! Prob'ly convinced her he's a good man. I say we teach this Injun a lesson, don't you boys?" the prospector called over his shoulder to the crowd gathering behind him. Several of the spectators loudly voiced their agreement.

The color drained from Erin's face as she stared at Buck. _I've made things worse, and I've put Buck in tremendous danger_, she thought.

"Erin," Buck said in a steel whisper. "I want you to turn around and go to the mercantile to find Jimmy. Stay with him and do not come back to me whatever happens."

"I don't want to leave you," Erin said in a pitiful whisper. "I'm sorry, I should have listened to you."

"Everything will be alright," Buck lied. The last thing he needed now was for her to panic.

"Now, do as I say and go!"

Erin felt the tears running down her face. She vowed to do as Buck said; he obviously knew more about how to handle these situations than she did. Turning around, she bumped into someone.

_Jimmy! Maybe he can help!_

Although Jimmy had just stumbled upon the scene, he could guess what was happening. "Erin, get behind me and get ready to run if I tell you," he whispered in her ear. Erin nodded and stepped behind him, grabbing his arm. Her head peeked out around his shoulder.

Buck slowly turned to face the small crowd, holding his hands up.

"Well, lookee what we got here! A filthy, nasty half-breed! Daddy prob'ly raped a white woman! Like father, like son! He was cornerin' a white woman to do the same, I'll bet!" The prospector sneered at Buck. The crowd murmured amongst themselves.

"I wasn't planning to do that and I don't want any trouble," Buck said slowly.

They heard the click of a hammer sliding into place. "And I don't want any trouble either." Buck turned

and saw Jimmy holding his Colt, the barrel pointed directly at the prospector's heart.

It seemed as if time stood still as the prospector contemplated what to do next. If he backed down, he'd look like a coward in front of his friends. If he didn't, he believed Jimmy Hickok would shoot him dead. Either one seemed like a bad option.

"What's going on here?"

Sam Cain briskly strode to Buck's side. "Hickock, put away that gun!"

Jimmy clicked back the hammer and put his Colt in his holster. There was dead silence.

"I said, what's going on?!"

The prospector answered with a smooth voice. "Nuthin' at all, Marshall Cain. Nuthin' at all. Idn't that right, half-breed?"

Sam turned to Buck, who stared back at the prospector. Buck knew Sam would lock the prospector up if he explained things. However, he also knew what would happen if he didn't play along and Emma didn't deserve to have her house burned down, or worse. He also didn't feel like dying.

"It was nothing."

Sam stared at Buck for a couple of beats before speaking to the crowd. "Alright, there's nothing to see here, so go on about your business." The audience slowly started to move along. The prospector grinned at Buck before walking away. He was pleased with the way things had ended up.

Sam turned to Buck. "Buck, just say the word and I'll lock him up."

Buck shook his head. "It's over now, done and gone. It's best to just leave it alone."

Sam nodded. He couldn't begin to imagine what Buck went through. Tipping his hat to Erin, he strode back to the jail.

Erin rushed over to Buck, just stopping herself from throwing her arms around him. She made sure to stand an arm's length away.

"I'm so sorry! I should have listened to you!"

"It's alright, you didn't know," Buck responded. He could never stay mad at Erin. "Just please, listen to me next time and do exactly as I say."

"I will," Erin answered.

Buck nodded. "Now let's get the wagon and go home."

"Flour's already loaded up," Jimmy said.

The three turned and walked to the wagon, Erin leading the way with Jimmy behind her.

Jimmy puffed out his chest as he thought of how Erin must be impressed with the way he handled things. _Life is good_, he thought.


	15. Chapter 15

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER FIFTEEN **

**:**

_**Note: I love jealous! Buck. I don't think he was ever that way in the series (it's been a long time, obviously, and I'm going off the memory of a young teenager), so I guess he is out-of-character, but I love it! **_

_**:**_

Mark Devlin was the banker's son; unbeknownst to the town, Kathleen had an older brother. Buck wondered why Kathleen had never mentioned him, but then again, he never pretended to understand that family's dynamic. The prodigal son had arrived on the scene three weeks prior and was still all the girls in town could talk about. Mark was charming and handsome, well-educated and sophisticated, a combination that left most women falling all over themselves to garner his attention.

Buck Cross had spared no thought to the banker's son until Mark started paying attention to Erin. Emma had sent the Buck and Erin to town to pick up some supplies she needed for the station. It had been only three days since Erin had agreed to become his girl, and the first time Buck had walked around town with her on his arm. Men passing by cast envious looks his way when they saw the two together. Buck was tremendously proud of Erin, and repeatedly thanked the spirits for blessing him with courting her.

The envious looks ended and were replaced with sympathy when Erin said she wanted to stop by the milliner's store to inquire about a hat she saw in the shop's window. Buck had immediately excused himself to go to the livery to say hello to its owner since going into the milliner's shop sounded like a living hell.

Buck had met Robert through the Express and considered the man to be a true friend. He had never blinked an eye at his Indian blood. Upon entering the livery Buck was assaulted with the smell of hay and horses. Robert wasn't in the barn, so Buck made his rounds petting all of the stabled horses. He had only made it to three horses when he heard his friend enter the stable.

"Buck! Imagine seein' you here!" Robert's Irish brogue made him sound all the more interesting. He greeted Buck with a handshake. _One of the few white men who will shake my hand_, Buck thought.

"It's good to see you, Robert."

"Good to see you, too! I admit, I'm surprised, I thought you'd never be able to peel yourself away from your girl. And quite a looker is she! You're a lucky man," Robert said cheerfully.

Buck smiled with Robert. _It had been hard_, he thought_, but being around all of those dresses would be a nightmare I cannot even imagine_. "It was a struggle, but here I am," Buck said, giving a little bow. "Nothing like dresses and hats to make a man run in the opposite direction!"

Robert shook his head, agreeing with Buck. "This is true!" he said with a grimace. "I always hide out in the saloon whenever Mamie goes in there!" The two men shared a chuckle before Robert's face grew serious.

"Buck, between friends I feel it necessary to give you a warnin'."

Buck immediately felt a sense of dread. _What can Robert be talking about?_

"You may want to watch Mark Devlin. He's out there makin' a play for your lady."

Buck faced turned red as his jaw started to ache from grinding his teeth. Stalking past Robert, he peered out the livery door. Sure enough, Mark Devlin and Erin were standing outside the milliner's shop, talking. Erin let out peal of laughter and touched Mark on his arm. Mark Devlin, hands in pockets, had a great big smile on his face. Buck's fists immediately clenched. He was angry, but also felt his heart drop past his knees and through the floor. _What is going on out there?_

As he watched the two converse, Buck could feel another emotion bubbling to the surface: jealousy. He'd always had a problem with jealousy, but usually he was able to tap it down by facing the truth: he didn't deserve love or friendship, what with the way he was brought into this world. This was different, though; at this point he was so in love with Erin that he didn't care that he wasn't worthy of her. He wanted her more than he ever wanted anything and he was NOT giving her up without a fight.

Buck barely registered Robert's voice behind him, so intent was he on observing Erin and Mark.

"Buck?"

Buck finally heard Robert's voice through the red haze that held him prisoner. Turning to his friend, somehow he managed to unclench his teeth long enough to choke out a single word.

"Yes?"

"Don't go doin' anythin' stupid, Buck. Mark Devlin's a powerful—and popular man—in Sweetwater. There's no telling what kind of trouble you'll be in. Besides, you could lose your girl by being jealous like this."

Buck took a deep breath. _Robert's right. I need a level head to address this situation._ Buck wasn't aware he had spoken aloud until Robert answered him.

"You may not need to address it at all right now. Just because they're talking' it doesn't mean she's interested. My advice is to just keep an eye on it, and make sure you treat your girl like a queen. Of course, you were probably already doing that," Robert said with a grin.

Buck returned Robert's grin with a tight smile of his own. "I'd better head on over to pick her up so we can get home in time for supper." Turning, he began walking outside toward the milliner.

"Deep breath!" he heard Robert call after him.

Buck did take a deep breath as he approached Mark and Erin. Walking slowly, he tried to calm his temper. Erin's face lit up the moment she saw Buck. Mark noticed her joyous expression and looked over his shoulder, his face darkening when he recognized Buck.

"Hello!" Erin began cheerfully until she noticed Buck's tight countenance. "Something the matter?" she asked, concern on her face. As Buck came to stand beside Erin he leaned in and kissed her cheek. He could see Mark's expression in the corner of his eye; it was one of disgust.

"Everything's fine. We need to go ahead and get home in time for supper," Buck replied. "Emma'll be sore if we're late," he added for good measure.

Erin arched a brow. She didn't think Aunt Emma would mind at all, but she wasn't going to argue. If Buck wanted to go home that was fine by her.

"Alright, then. We should go ahead and leave then." Turning to Mark Devlin, she held out her hand. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Devlin. I'm sure I'll be seeing you again sometime, Sweetwater being such a small town."

Buck clenched his teeth.

"Please call me Mark, and I sincerely hope we'll see each other again…soon." Mark captured Erin's hand in his own, and leaned forward to plant a kiss on the back of her palm. Erin, who had just intended a handshake, turned pink. She quickly pulled her hand away. Mark Devlin was a little too smarmy for her tastes. _I don't want _him_ for a friend_, she thought.

Turning, she headed toward the wagon, not noticing that Buck was not behind her.

Buck stepped closer to Mark Devlin, who looked at Buck with distaste.

"Stay away from her," Buck said, his voice steely and low.

"Make me. Who did you think you are, half-breed?"

"I'm the man who's courting her."

"You're nowhere near good enough for her!"

"No, I'm not. But if I remember correctly, your sister had no complaints."

Devlin turned bright red with anger. "You listen here, you filthy little—"

Buck had already turned around and walked away from Mark Devlin and headed to the wagon. Climbing onto the buckboard, he sat close to Erin, smiling when she looped her arm through his and scooted even closer to him. Ignoring the scowling Mark Devlin, he flicked the reins and drove out of town.


	16. Chapter 16

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER SIXTEEN**

**:**

Isaac Daniel McSwain inhaled the scent of the bouquet of flowers he had just picked. _Daises_, he thought. They had been his mother's favorite. _I hope Erin loves them as much as Ma did_. Ike felt a pang of longing as he thought of his mother, but quickly pushed it back to the past where it belonged. It was time to focus on the present.

Erin Kelly, Emma's niece, had come to visit for a long while. She had arrived a week prior, and Ike fell in love the moment he saw her. He wanted her to notice him and choose him instead of any of the other Riders. They all had been trying to catch her eye. _All except for Buck_, Ike thought.

Ike didn't understand why Buck wasn't interested. He had confessed to Ike that he thought Erin to be the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. Ike also thought her to be the sweetest. She always seemed to be looking for the best in people, and never had an unkind word to say about anyone_. If that isn't enough reason to pursue her then I don't know what is_.

As Ike reflected more on the situation, he realized that he had never seen Buck make a play for any woman. _Except Kathleen Devlin_, Ike thought with a shiver of disgust. He had never truly hated anyone before Kathleen. She had almost destroyed Buck with her lies. _Perhaps Buck is scared Erin will be another Kathleen_, Ike thought, _but that's ridiculous_. _She'd never treat anyone that way_. Still, he supposed he should be grateful. With Buck out of the picture there was one less man he had to beat.

* * *

Back at the station, Ike's eyes followed Erin as she tended the plants in the garden. It was comical to watch Cody and Jimmy clamor to fetch the water for her when she needed it. This time the two had broken into an argument, leaving a clearly frustrated Erin to watch. Eventually, she gathered the bucket and fetched the water herself, Jimmy and Cody bickering the whole time and not even noticing her movement. Ike had a silent laugh over that one.

Ike thought about how he could get Erin alone. _We could go for a picnic tomorrow, or a walk this evening after supper_, he thought. _Both of those could be romantic, and I'm sure I have a chance_. Erin had lit up when he presented her with the flowers this afternoon.

Ike's eye jerked to a motion out of the corner of his eye. Buck was walking across the yard toward the barn where Ike was watching the two clowns make a spectacle over fetching water. Venturing his gaze back to Erin, he noticed her staring at Buck. She seemed in awe. _That's strange, I never noticed her doing that before_. As Buck neared the garden, she lowered her gaze and even from the barn Ike could see the pretty pink hue on her cheeks.

Buck stopped to say hello to Erin. _He looks nervous, almost as nervous as Erin_. As Buck spoke, Erin kept looking at the ground, finally raising her head to respond to whatever Buck had said. The unsure expression on her face jarred Ike's memory. _She always stammers around him_, he thought.

Buck turned and walked toward the barn, a devastated look on his face. His disappointment triggered Ike's intuition. _Why, he likes Erin just as much as the rest of us!_

Ike's eyes turned to Erin, noticing she looked after Buck with an expression of longing on her face, as if Buck was the only man in the world, despite the two bickering idiots standing a few feet away. Ike felt his own dreaded disappointment as he faced the truth. _And she likes him as much as he likes her_.

Ike had a decision to make. It was an easy one, although a reluctant one. _It's time for me to back off_, he thought. _She's meant to be Buck's girl, not mine._

Buck entered the barn. "Can you believe those two?"

Ike shook his head.

"What's wrong?"

*_Nothing_.*

"If you say so," Buck slowly responded, a concerned look on his face.

Turning, he headed to saddle his horse.

"Taking Erin on a picnic for supper?" he asked.

*_No_.*

"A walk after dinner? You'll probably have to sneak her away from Cody and Jimmy, even though all Cody does is turn red around her!"

Ike again shook his head.

Buck looked puzzled. "Don't you want her to be your girl?"

*_Not anymore,_* Ike responded.

"What happened?"

Ike thought for a moment. Buck was a private person with his feelings, and Ike didn't want to outright call him on his feelings for Erin. Ike decided to go with honesty tempered with subtlety.

*_Because as you are the brother of my heart, so shall she be the sister of my heart_.* Ike had no doubt they would end up together. _Two people didn't look at each other that way and not be destined for one another_.

"What do you mean?"

Ike smiled a serene smile. He knew Buck was frustrated, but until Buck figured out his own relationship with Erin, there was nothing he could do.

*_You'll see_.*

Ignoring Buck's annoyed huff, he went to wash up for dinner, Cody and Jimmy still arguing in the background.


	17. Chapter 17

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER 17-ACT OF CONTRITION**

* * *

_What in the world is Kathleen Devlin doing in here?_

Buck had come to town with his girl, Erin, so she could visit the bank for Emma. Knowing that Kathleen's father owned the bank, Buck had no desire to go in there with Erin. So, he ventured to the livery to visit with his friend, Robert. As Robert had already left to go to the restaurant with his wife, Buck was alone in the stable. _Apparently, Kathleen followed me. I can't see her willingly coming into the local livery when she has her own stable at home._

"Buck? Are you in here?"

"I'm right in front of you Kathleen," Buck answered, impatient and put off that she would dare come near him. "What do you want?"

"Oh, there you are," Kathleen said, as if Buck hadn't said a word. "I was looking for you."

_Oh dear god, what have I done to deserve this torture? _

"Once again, what do you want?"

Kathleen flinched at his tone. "I just wanted to say hello. Catch up. Reminisce about old times. Remember those? We were so happy."

Buck gritted his teeth. Tapping down his anger, he managed to respond calmly.

"I remember those times, and there was no 'we,' only 'you.' You proved yourself to be deceitful and lying, not to mention a person who uses others. I have nothing to say to you and you can leave now."

_She has the nerve to actually look shocked!_ Buck was beginning to wonder if Kathleen was a little touched in the head.

"Why would you think that? We were happy together until you walked away."

Buck gritted his teeth again and prayed to the spirits for strength. "I walked away because you admitted to using me to make your daddy jealous."

"I know. And I am so sorry."

Buck deflated, and sighed a tired sigh. "Kathleen, what is it you want? My forgiveness? Well, you have it. But I don't want anything to do with you. Now would you please leave?"

Kathleen continued as if she hadn't heard Buck's request at all. "I've grown up since then. I'm a different person. And I still care deeply for you."

"Good for you and I don't care. Honestly. Now get out of here before the good citizens of Sweetwater figure out we're in here alone and _I _get in trouble."

"That won't happen. I made sure no one was looking."

_Of course you did. Wouldn't want to sully that reputation_.

"Kathleen!"" Buck said, on his last nerve. "Just leave! My girl will be back soon and I'd rather her not find us in here alone!" Buck was so frustrated he was willing to do anything to get Kathleen to leave him be.

"Oh yes, your 'girl.' How quaint. I've seen her around town. She's a pretty little thing, I suppose."

Buck gave a short laugh. "You suppose? With the way you look so angry when she walks by the men in town and they _all_ turn their heads? I never saw _you_ manage that."

Kathleen flushed, but quickly recovered. "Yes, well, I admit that she _is_ pretty. What does that matter though, when you could have me? What does she have besides her looks?"

Buck was getting angry again. He didn't have time for this.

"She has the kindest heart I've ever known. She's smart and witty, and so talented. She can sew anything, even these quilts that are so intricate they are works of art. Most importantly, I love her and that's a whole lot more than I could ever say about the way I thought I felt about you."

"Buck, please stop fooling yourself. I hurt you so now you're pushing me away. It's time for us to be together again."

Buck resigned himself to the fact that Kathleen was not going to leave willingly. He'd just have to leave and forget about saying hello to Robert when he returned. Buck hoped Erin was finished at the bank, but there had been a long line. He would just have to take a walk up and down the boardwalk and hope no one threw mud on him.

"Kathleen, I'm leaving. Don't ever approach me again."

"Buck! Don't go," Kathleen cried as Buck walked past her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her dart towards him like the snake she was. Grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him to her, she paused. Buck saw her look to the side to something near them. "I love you too!" she cried, just as she leaned forward and kissed him.

Buck was shocked and froze for a few moments, a feminine gasp finally breaking the spell. Breaking out of his daze, he noticed Erin out of the corner of his eye. Pushing Kathleen away, he turned to her. Erin looked shaken—and devastated.

"Erin," he choked out, noticing the rivers of tears that began to pour from her eyes. Whirling on her heel, she walked out of the stable.

Buck turned to Kathleen. She stood with a triumphant smile on her face.

"Was this your plan all along?"

Kathleen shrugged.

"You truly are a disgusting person and one day you will get what is coming to you."

The smile faded from her face. _She actually looks contrite_, Buck thought, as he ran after his girl.

* * *

"Erin, wait!" Buck called, as he dodged people left and right to catch up with her.

Erin jerked her head to the side when she heard Buck's voice, but then she gritted her teeth and faced forward. Her feet never stopped moving.

Erin could hear the cries of surprise and outrage as Buck pushed through the pedestrians on the boardwalk. Sighing, she stopped. Buck was going to get into trouble pushing around the good white citizens of Sweetwater.

Buck was panting as he caught up to her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and whirled her around, stopping dead at the expression on her face.

"Don't touch me," Erin said, her tone like steel and her voice barely above a whisper.

"You don't ever touch me again."

Buck froze. He hadn't known Erin to be capable of such anger. The words hurt twice as much, since only two weeks before had they started to become intimate in some ways. They loved exploring each other's bodies and had discussed how very sacred it was to share their bodies. Reluctantly, Buck dropped his hands.

"Erin, please listen to me," Buck began, silently offering a prayer to the spirits that she would.

"No, I have nothing to say and I sure as hell don't want to hear anything you have to say. Go back to your little friend." Spinning on her heel, she walked away.

Buck wasn't letting her leave without a fight. He wasn't going to lose her. This was the mate the Great Spirit had made for him! He couldn't accept her walking away from their relationship.

Buck followed after her, keeping his voice low so that others wouldn't hear and interfere in their business.

"Please let me explain. Please."

Erin unexpectedly halted and turned to Buck. "Okay," she said, fire dancing in her eyes.

Buck gulped. He hadn't expected this, for her to willingly stop and listen. _Well, she doesn't seem to be listening as much as angrily planning an attack_, he thought. Still, he decided to try to explain.

"Kathleen cornered me in the stable. She told me she wanted to get back together. I told her no and asked her to leave. _I_ was leaving when she all of a sudden said what she said and then kissed me. I'm sorry, baby. I was shocked and didn't expect her to do anything like that. What she said wasn't true, and I would have never kissed her willingly. Please believe me."

Erin looked unsure. Taking a few deep breaths, she hesitated before speaking. "Buck, I don't know what to think. I trusted you with the lip rouge on your shirt last week, but this makes me think I may have made a mistake. What happened now looked too genuine to me."

Buck cringed. "I didn't lie to you then and I'm not lying to you now. Please, please believe me."

Erin scowled, a look very uncharacteristic of herself. "I'm too angry and hurt to believe anything right now. I need time to think. And I need you to leave me be while I think."

Buck felt his heart plummet down his chest, through his feet, and into the ground beneath his boots. _What if she doesn't believe me?_

"Let's just go home. I want to sit in the wagon away from you." Stalking past Buck to the wagon, she called over her shoulder.

"Don't try to speak to me. Just drive and get us home."

Buck turned and followed her to the wagon, deciding it was best to stop trying to explain and let Erin cool down. If the situation were reversed, he would be angry and hurt too. Climbing up the buckboard, he spotted Kathleen Devlin standing outside the livery, watching them with a troubled look on her face. _I hope she's happy_, Buck thought. Flicking the reins, he began the long drive home.

* * *

True to her word, Erin was silent on the way home. At first, she sat with her back ramrod straight in the wagon, then she had laid down and fallen asleep for the rest of the ride. When they arrived at the barn, Buck turned and stared down at her. She was so beautiful, and everything he had ever wanted in his life. He reached and stroked her hair, waking her up.

Erin was warm and content as she woke, until she remembered the events of the past hour. Stiffening, she opened her eyes and met Buck's.

"I told you not to touch me."

Buck slowly withdrew his hand. This was worse than he thought. On the way home he had managed to convince himself that Erin would come around, that everything would be alright, but maybe that would not happen. Tapping down the panic he felt rising in his chest, he nodded and withdrew his hand. Jumping down from the buckboard, he began unhitching the horses as Erin made her way to the house.

* * *

Buck didn't know what to expect when he entered the kitchen for supper.

It'd been three hours since he and Erin had come home and he had not seen hide nor hair of her since. She usually didn't stay the entire day in the house with Emma, so Buck was sure she was avoiding him.

Looking around the kitchen, Buck didn't see Erin anywhere. Only Emma was serving supper. When Emma caught his eye, she waved Buck over. He slowly stood and made his way over to his surrogate mother. _What did Erin tell her? Am I about to become a woman, because I know Emma will do it with no hesitation if she thinks I hurt her niece, albeit unintentionally_. Only last week had Buck dodged Emma's wrath with the lip rouge on his shirt.

Upon reaching Emma, Buck noticed her facial features were arranged in worry, not anger. "Do you know what's wrong with Erin? For the last few hours she has hidden in her room. She came out to try and help me make supper, but she almost cut her finger off she was so distracted. I sent her out of the kitchen and now she's back in her room and won't come out for supper. I'm worried about her. She wasn't crying, just looking angry and worried."

Buck took a deep breath. At least she wasn't crying her eyes out over him. He could handle anger and worry, but if he made Erin cry any more than she already had then he didn't think he could live with himself. _Even if it's really Kathleen Devlin's fault_, Buck thought.

"Let me take Erin her supper and see if she'll talk to me," Buck volunteered.

The worried look on Emma's face fell away. If anyone could figure out what was bothering her niece, it was Buck. Emma knew Erin was in love with Buck and suspected it was mutual. _Those two are meant for each other_, she often thought. She hurried to the stove to fix Erin a plate.

Two minutes later Buck strode down the hallway, in a hurry to get to Erin's door. _She has to talk to me_. Buck thought bringing her the meal was a brilliant idea to get her to speak with him. "Erin, it's Buck, and I've brought you your supper!" he announced after a quick knock on her door. He smiled upon hearing the door unlock and swung open. On the other side was Erin, looking even more angry than before. His smile immediately fell from his face. Buck gulped, and forced himself to start speaking.

"Baby, we need to discuss things—"

Erin reached out and took the tray.

"I love you and I think you know I'd never do anything to hurt you—"

_SLAM!_

Buck stood and stared at the now-closed door. _What happened?_

After a few moments of silence, Buck turned on his heel and slowly walked back to the kitchen. Meeting Emma's expectant eyes, he gave a half-hearted shrug and sat down to supper, barely eating anything that evening.

* * *

Later that evening, Buck decided he'd make another move. He had visited Erin in her room the night they had confessed their feelings to each other. She let him in then, so maybe she would let him in again.

She had left the curtains open. _Hopefully this is a good sign_, he thought. Reaching her window, he stretched his hand out to tap on the pane when he noticed the tray he had brought was sitting on her bureau, untouched. Erin lay on the bed, her face buried in her pillows, her entire body shaking with sobs. _She's crying quietly so Emma won't hear her_, Buck thought. He felt his entire heart break in two and a sense of anguish envelop him. Erin, his girl, was crying over him. Buck closed his eyes and willed control over himself as he felt his own tears well up.

Opening his eyes and taking a deep breath, Buck reached out and tapped the window pane. Erin immediately shot up, looking for the source of the noise. _Tap tap tap_. Erin slowly turned her head to the window, an expression Buck couldn't decipher crossing her face. Thrusting herself up from the bed, she stalked over to the window and ripped the curtains closed. The candle in her room extinguished moments later.

Buck sighed and hung his head in defeat. There was nothing he could do to make this better. He had lost the girl of his dreams, the one he loved even before he knew she felt the same. There was nothing Buck could do to stop his tears from falling.

The next morning, as Buck saddled his horse, his movements were wooden and his demeanor silent, reflective of the little sleep he'd had the night before. He didn't hear Ike come into the barn and jumped when his friend tapped him on the shoulder.

_*Want to tell me what's going on?*_ Ike signed.

Buck frowned as Ike observed the dark circles underneath his eyes. He took a deep breath and allowed himself to speak the truth aloud for the first time. "I've lost her."

Ike's brows shot up. _*WHAT?*_

"You heard me. I…I've lost her."

_*What happened?*_

"We went to town and when Erin was in the bank, Kathleen cornered me in the stable." Buck noticed Ike's eyes darken at the mention of Kathleen. "She spoke all this nonsense about wanting to get back together and how much I loved her and then she staged it to where Erin walked in on us kissing—"

_*Wait, what do you mean 'staged it'?*_

"She grabbed me and kissed me when she saw Erin walking up. I was so shocked that I didn't move for a few seconds. It was enough time for her to see and get the wrong idea."

_*I can't believe she wouldn't believe you when you explained.*_ Ike's expression was thoughtful.

"She said it looked too genuine, and when added to last week's discovery of Daisy's lip rouge on my shirt, she feels doubtful. I can't say I blame her; I think I'd feel the same way if I were in her position." Buck felt himself choking on the lump in his throat. "She wouldn't speak to me after we got home and she wouldn't let me in her room last night so we could talk."

Ike's expression was one of surprise. _*How long have you been going to her room at night?*_

Buck wore an exasperated look. "It doesn't matter, Ike!" His voice turned soft. "I've lost her," he whispered, head dropping.

Ike gently patted his back. He knew his friend must be devastated. He had never seen Buck happier than when he was with Erin, even before the summer social when they had declared their mutual interest.

_*I'll try to talk some sense into her.*_

"Don't Ike. I think you'll just make things worse." Buck paused. "I have an overnight run. Perhaps she'll settle down with me gone and be willing to talk when I get back."

_*I think you're right. She just needs time.*_ A slow grin spread across Ike's face_. *Just don't stop in Granville again.*_

Buck sighed, appreciating Ike's attempt at humor but not finding much to laugh about. "It's in the opposite direction anyway."

He didn't have any reason to laugh, or even smile.

* * *

Erin Kelly stood trying to peel potatoes at the kitchen sink. It was hard to do with tears running down her face, but she was going to try. Buck wouldn't get the best of her!

For the past thirty-one hours she had been in misery. She had walked in on her beau, Buck, kissing another girl after he proclaimed his love for her. All this after she found lip rouge on his shirt last week. _I had been so understanding_, she thought, _giving him the benefit of the doubt and not even questioning him about what it was or if he cheated. Look where that got me!_

Buck had tried to explain, but in Erin's mind, it was too late. She had seen what looked like a genuine display of affection between he and his former girl. The one thing she couldn't figure out was why he had done this to her. _Maybe he felt like he had to accept me because of Aunt Emma. Or maybe he lost interest._ Erin felt the tears start to spill down her cheeks again. _Or maybe he's just the wandering type._ It didn't really matter. Whatever his reason, she was done with him.

Emma had gone out of her way to be understanding, not knowing what had happened to break her niece's heart. She had noticed that Buck looked heartbroken too. Hoping that Erin would talk with her, she had tried to pry something out of her earlier that morning. Erin remained as tight-lipped as Buck, refusing to give even the slightest hint as to why she was so upset.

Erin was still struggling with the potatoes when Emma walked into the kitchen. Her arms hung straight by her sides, an expression of shock upon her face. Erin was immediately alarmed.

"Aunt Emma, what is it?"

Emma took a deep breath. "You have a guest. In the parlor."

"Who?"

"You'd better see for yourself." Erin started toward the parlor when Aunt Emma's voice stopped her dead. Gone was the shock and surprise, replaced by steel and protectiveness.

"If you need me, I'll be right outside that door."

Erin nodded, and turned toward the parlor. Taking a deep breath of her own, she walked down the hall to receive her guest.

_Oh my god, Kathleen Devlin is standing in the parlor, waiting on me._

Erin's immediate reaction was mortification. She wanted to run and hide in her bedroom and let Aunt Emma handle the situation. _No_, she thought. _I am a grown woman and can handle this other woman, regardless of how she helped break my heart. I will be mature and eloquent, and conduct my self as the lady my mere taught me to be_. However, upon entering the parlor, all of her mature intentions flew out the window.

"What the hell do you want?"

At Kathleen's ladylike gasp, Erin felt her cheeks burn. This was not how she wanted to handle things, but she was so angry she was going to start screaming in a moment.

"What language!" a shocked Kathleen uttered.

"You're about to hear a lot worse if you don't get out!"

"No, I have something I need to tell you."

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Are you looking for Buck? He'll be back this afternoon. You can meet up with him in the bunkhouse. Now GET OUT!"

"You'll want to hear this."

"Oh really? And what exactly do you have to tell me that you think I'll want to hear?"

"The truth."

* * *

Buck Cross rode at breakneck speed into the yard, handing off the mail pouch to Kid. Slowing down to a stop, he jumped off his horse and spied Ike near the bunkhouse, waving his arms to get his attention. Stretching out his arm, Ike pointed a finger toward the house, where a thoroughbred horse with a fancy saddle was tethered to the hitching post. It was a fine saddle and an even finer horse, and only one family within twenty miles could afford to own such riches: the Devlins.

Buck felt anger sear through him, then panic. _What is Kathleen doing here? Has she come to make things worse? I wouldn't put it past her._

Stomping across the yard, Buck spied Kathleen leaving the front door. As she was walking down the steps, she cast a dazzling smile in Buck's direction. _She looks too pleased with herself_, Buck thought.

"What are you doing here? Come to twist the knife? WHAT DID YOU DO?" Buck was furious.

The smirk immediately disappeared from Kathleen's face.

"I thought about what you said. The last part, right before you left. Believe me or not Buck, I listened and reflected on it. And I'm trying to be a better person."

With that cryptic message, she walked past Buck, mounted her horse. Pulling the reins, she turned to the right and rode away from the station, never once again looking at Buck.

Buck huffed with annoyance. He had prepared a speech to give to Erin, and if that failed, he was willing to get on his knees and beg. Now he was sure whatever chance time apart had bought him had been destroyed. Storming into the house, he stopped dead at the sight of Erin in the parlor.

Erin stood, quietly weeping, with her face buried in her hands. Buck felt his heart constrict with her pain. What had Kathleen done? Whatever lies Erin had heard, he was sure that they were awful if it made her cry, especially like this. He knew she wouldn't want him around, but he still had to try and comfort his girl.

"Erin?"

Erin lifted her head, tears silently cascading down her face. Her green eyes were bright with emotion.

"Oh, Buck!" she cried, and ran into his arms.

This was the homecoming Buck had prayed for. Erin was back in his arms, clinging to him like she hadn't seen him in weeks. Buck quickly embraced her as her crying escalated.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" Erin managed to choke out between sobs.

"Baby, you didn't do anything wrong! What happened?" Buck asked with a gentle voice. "What did Kathleen say?" Buck wanted to speak softly to comfort Erin, but he couldn't help the edge in his voice when he mentioned Kathleen.

Erin quieted in his arms. "She told me what really happened."

Buck couldn't help but sigh. "And what did she say really happened?" He could just imagine the scenarios she had concocted in her head.

"She said that she cornered you in the stable when saw me coming. She said you never told her you loved her, and she kissed you so I would see it. She wanted to break us up. She actually said she was sorry!"

Buck felt like someone had slapped him in the face. _Kathleen rode all the way out here to tell Erin the truth and apologize? What happened?_

Buck remembered what Kathleen had said before she rode away. _Maybe she truly is trying to be a better person._ Buck snapped to attention when he realized Erin was speaking.

"I'm so sorry honey, please forgive me for not believing you! I'm so sorry! I should have trusted you!"

Buck ran his hands up and down Erin's back, finally burying them in her hair. He lifted her head from his shoulder and looked in her eyes.

"It's alright. I forgive you! I'm just happy you're talking to me again!" he said with a laugh. Erin gave a quiet laugh of her own before her eyes dropped to her hands. Buck reached forward and lifted her chin with his finger.

"Really, it's okay. I think if I were in your position I would have thought the same thing."

Erin nodded.

Buck leaned forward, his intention for a kiss made clear. Erin responded, pecking his lips, then intensifying the kiss. Buck devoured her kiss, their heads moving left to right in an attempt to get closer to each other.

Emma, from her spot in the hall, sighed in relief. _All is as it should be_, she thought.

* * *

**THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ AND REVIEWED. **

**IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY REQUESTS FOR SETTINGS, THEMES, INCIDENTS, ETC-PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I AM RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS!**

_**THANK YOU!**_


	18. Chapter 18

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER 18**

**:**

_**THANK YOU FOR THE PROMPT, KATYKAT!**_

:

"I think the Cheyenne took her."

Buck Cross grimaced as he heard those words. The Cheyenne would never negotiate with or even allow him to live. They were the sworn enemies of the Kiowa.

Buck was afraid for Lou and for himself. He didn't want to track Cheyenne warriors. He knew what would happen to him if they caught him. However, Lou was more important than any of that.

Lou had been missing for approximately four hours. _Enough time to ride to the Cheyenne camp_, thought Buck. When she was hours late from her run, Jimmy and Kid had gone looking for her. They found Lightening tethered to a tree, a stone in his shoe. There were unshod hoof prints surrounding Lightening, and Indians were the only ones around who had horses without shoes. Lou had also stopped in the middle of Cheyenne territory. The Cheyenne were known as fierce warriors who protected what little land they had left. They did not take kindly to white people crossing their territory—or, it could be a group of renegades that wouldn't hesitate to hurt a woman.

Lou was the sister of Buck's heart. The danger he could be in didn't matter. He was going after her, even if it meant his life. If he died trying to save her, then so be it.

As Kid fell to pieces, Buck made ready to leave. Moving without hesitation, he gathered his extra knife and Colt, strapping both to his right side. Saddling his horse, his thoughts drifted to Erin, Emma's niece, who had been at the station for only three weeks. Only recently had they began talking and spending time together. _She had to get over her fear of Indians in order to just be friends with me, so I'm sure this has frightened her to an extreme_. It was Buck's secret that he was in love with Erin, and she had no idea. Not even Ike knew and Buck preferred to keep it that way. Buck wasn't sure how Erin felt about him, and he found it hard to believe any woman would be genuinely interested in him—Kathleen had taught him that. _I have to love her from a distance, as Jimmy has already declared his intentions toward her_.

Buck was so focused on saddling his horse that he didn't hear Erin come into the barn. Erin hesitantly walked to Buck. She knew he was determined to go after Lou, but she also knew just how dangerous it could be. Sam had confirmed it for her.

"Buck?"

Buck gave a little jump as he realized Erin was almost right next to him. _Better get it together. I can't have a Cheyenne warrior sneaking up on me like that._

"Yes," he said, pausing momentarily in his task.

"Sam says the Cheyenne are the enemies of the Kiowa. He said they won't hesitate to kill any Kiowa they come across."

_Damn Sam for that. Now she's worried. And, as much as I love her, I can't spend a lot of time comforting her. _Buck felt a momentary longing to comfort her as if she were his girl. _Focus! Every second counts. I have to find Lou!_

"They are," he answered plainly. It was the truth, and he wasn't ever going to lie to her.

Returning to his task, he heard Erin sniffle and turned to find her looking concerned to the point of tears forming in her eyes. _She's so kind, worrying over a friend_. Buck stopped saddling his horse and pulled Erin into his arms. He could spare a few seconds to say goodbye to the girl he loved. After all, it could be the last time he saw her.

Erin sighed as she went into Buck's arms, her own arms slipping around his waist, her head resting on her chest. She murmured something, too low for Buck to hear, but he felt the vibrations on his chest.

"What did you say? I didn't hear you."

Erin raised her head and tilted it back so she could look into Buck's eyes. Buck could see that the tears she had so bravely held back had now fallen down her cheeks.

"Don't go."

"What?"

"Cody can go. You've taught him to track. He can do it. It's too dangerous for you." Erin spoke softly, just above a whisper.

Buck was surprised she was so concerned about him. He felt a twinge of satisfaction that it was he she was with right then, not Jimmy. He chose his next words carefully.

"Cody is not as good a tracker as me. Besides, he is white and will be killed on sight. At least they'll take the time to figure out what tribe I'm from, and maybe give me a chance to rescue her."

"How can you rescue her? You said they are the Kiowa's sworn enemies. They will kill you as soon as they figure out you're Kiowa!"

"Hopefully I can negotiate a trade. My guns for her. My knives. I am going to carry money with me. Maybe they'll trade her for all three. As long as we are conducting a trade, I should have no problem." Buck wasn't sure how likely a scenario that would be, but he wanted to put Erin's mind at ease.

"What if they're renegades?"

"Then I'll fight."

Part of Buck hoped they were renegades. He and Jimmy would stand a chance against a small group.

Erin was quiet for a few moments, obviously mulling over everything in her head. Buck eventually let go of her.

"I have to go." Buck heard himself choke on those four words. He did not want to leave Erin. He did not want to put himself in danger. But Lou was out there and he would find her.

"I have to go," Buck repeated, hoping Erin would understand.

Buck sighed with relief when Erin nodded, her head lowering to stare at the ground. She stepped back out of Buck's arms, and straightened her neck.

"You have to go," she said, her voice steady and confident.

_Erin constantly impresses me with her bravery_, Buck thought. _She can have a countenance of steel_.

Buck finished saddling his horse as Erin helped.

* * *

Erin Kelley watched as Buck rode out of the yard. He had given her a hug goodbye, and she had already prayed that it wouldn't be the last one. Erin herself was beside herself with worry for Lou, and now with worry for Buck and even Jimmy. She was more frightened than any other time in her life.

Walking slowly to the house, she entered through the kitchen. Sam had taken Kid to the bunkhouse, so there was nothing but blissful silence. Her aunt Emma was already mixing dough for biscuits for the evening meal. Glancing at Erin, she continued stirring. "We may as well go ahead and work on supper. They'll be hungry when they get back," she said.

_If they come back_, Erin thought.

Pushing that thought from her head, she walked across the kitchen and took the bowl from her aunt. She felt wooden as she went through the motions of kneading the dough. Her mind and heart were with Buck. From the moment she met him, she had the biggest crush on him. She had never had a man reduce her to blushing and stammering, but one look at Buck's handsome face and she became like a schoolgirl with her first crush.

_Why did he have to go! Cody's a good tracker_!

Erin pushed her thoughts aside. Buck had explained to her why he had to be the one to track instead of Cody. _And Lou—poor Lou, out there all alone_!

Erin found herself surprised that she felt so much more worry over Buck than she did Lou. After all, Lou was the one kidnapped. Lou wouldn't go without a fight. She had probably been beaten—or worse.

Erin shuddered and pushed down the panic that had risen as she pondered her friend's fate. Emma noticed her movement and her worry shifted immediately from Lou and her boys to her niece.

"Are you okay?" Emma ventured, walking across the kitchen to put her arm around Erin's shoulders.

Erin nodded. "I'm fine. I'm worried about Lou. And Buck. Aunt Emma, what will happen if they capture him? They'll kill him, won't they?"

Emma smiled a gentle smile. "Sounds to me your awfully worried about him."

"I am! I love Lou and she's one of my best friends, but I don't know what I would do if I lost Buck! He's become everyth—"

Erin stopped as she realized what she was going to say. _He's become everything to me_. She thought for a moment as scenes flashed through her mind.

Meeting him for the first time.

Feeling so intimated any time he was around.

Stealing glances at him when she thought he wasn't looking. Him catching her several times.

Deciding to not let herself be anxious around him.

Meeting each night after supper while she sewed. Talking for hours.

Buck bringing her the tea she needed in order to sleep each night.

Saying goodbye today and feeling like her heart was being ripped from her chest.

_I have to face the truth: I am in love with Buck Cross. Irrevocably, unconditionally in love with Buck Cross. _

Erin felt her heart race. It was exhilarating to finally admit the truth. She felt free. She wanted to shout it from the mountaintops. _I'm in love with the most wonderful man in the world_!

Erin's heart dropped as disappointment flooded her. _He doesn't feel the same way and he never will. He's too good for me. He's so wise, and kind, and handsome…and now he's gone._

Emma watched the play of emotions cross her niece's face. _Erin's finally realized how much she loves Buck_, she thought. She could tell when Erin's thoughts returned to the present by the dark expression on her face. _She looks like she's about to cry again_.

"Erin…Erin!"

Emma finally had Erin's attention. "They'll be alright. There's no one around for hundreds of miles who can track as good as Buck. And Jimmy is, well, Jimmy. Lou's a fighter too. I have every faith in the three of them. They'll all be back soon, you'll see."

Erin took a deep breath. All she could do was hope—and pray.

* * *

Jimmy and Buck had ridden hard for an hour before they found the tree where Lightening had been tethered. Buck immediately jumped off of his horse and handed the reins to Jimmy. His focus was completely on the tracks left behind.

The tracks were strange. If he was interpreting them correctly, a person had walked to the west a little after the horses came through. The footprints were small, so it had to be Lou.

"Buck, get down! Someone's coming!"

Jimmy took shelter behind a rock while Buck stood tall by the tree. He wasn't going to appear afraid, even though he could feel his heartbeat all the way in his throat.

The horse came into clear view. Jimmy and Buck both gasped when they saw the rider.

"Lou?!"

"Yeah, it's me. What're you two doing here?"

Jimmy was still shocked. This left Buck to give all the answers.

"We're looking for you! Teaspoon went looking for you after you were so late, and he found Lightening here with a stone in his shoe. There was no sign of you so we came looking. We thought you'd been taken by the Cheyenne!"

Lou dismounted and ran to Buck, giving him a ferocious hug. She knew about the relationship between the Cheyenne and the Kiowa, and she knew how much Buck was risking when he came for her.

"Thank you," she said, feeling herself tear up.

Buck pulled back and looked at her. "Anytime," he said softly.

Jimmy approached the two and gave Lou his own hug. "Mind telling me where you've been this entire time? And whose horse is that?" he said, gesturing toward her new mount.

"He belongs to the Reynolds. They live about a thirty-minute walk away. When Lightening threw his shoe, I knew it would be a three hours' walk back to the station, and I remembered passing their home, so I walked back there to ask if I could borrow a horse. They were worried and made me stay for dinner," Lou explained. "I'm sorry I worried everyone."

Buck grinned at her. "It's okay. All that matters now is that you're alright."

* * *

Erin had just taken the biscuits from the oven when she heard the commotion in the yard. Her aunt came bursting through the door.

"They're back! They found Lou!"

Erin took a deep breath and sent up a prayer of thanks. Only then did she allow joy to overtake her. Running to the yard, she saw Lou and Jimmy, but where was Buck?

Erin heard footsteps approaching behind her. Buck, she thought. Turning around, she spied him walking toward her. Erin couldn't help herself—she started to run toward him, her eyes devouring him.

_Get a hold of yourself_! her mind screamed. Coming to a halt, her arms windmilled once. She had stopped directly in front of Buck. Even though she had stood in his arms only a few hours before, it felt different now, knowing she was in love with him.

"I'm…I'm glad you're back," she started, unsure of what to say next.

It was Buck who leaned forward and captured her in a hug. He didn't want to ever let go.

_It feels good to be home._


	19. Chapter 19

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER 19**

**:**

_*You can say how much you like her, how you want to get to know her better, how she could get to know you better-* _

"Wait a minute, I'm writing this all down."

Ike continued signing as though Buck hadn't said a word.

_*-and how wonderful she is and how you're in love with her and can't wait to be her husband and make lots of beautiful babies-*_

"IKE!"

Ike looked at Buck, his eyes widened to make the perfect picture of innocence.

_*You know the two of you will make beautiful babies. You're both beautiful human beings, both physically and personally.*_

Buck huffed in annoyance. "Forget it. I'll just say what comes to me and hope it isn't gibberish."

Ike dropped his angelic act. He could tell his friend was genuinely anxious and perhaps a little scared. Ike knew how much Buck loved Erin, even though he thought his secret was safe. Ike was his brother and knew him best. _There are no secrets he can keep from me,_ Ike thought smugly. _Still, it's time to stop teasing._

_*It will be okay, you'll see. There's no way Emma will say no, and from what I've seen, Erin will be beside herself to have you court her.*_

"Let's hope it's a good 'beside herself' and not a bad one."

Ike smiled a serene smile. _*It will be. You worry for nothing.*_

"I sincerely hope so."

* * *

Emma Shannon hummed in her kitchen as she peeled apples for a pie. _Apple pie is Sam's favorite, and they always say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach_, she thought with a smile. Emma had been hoping Sam would come around and ask her to marry him, but she was willing to take her time. _One pie after another_, she thought, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Her satisfied grin turned to a happy smile as she observed Buck walking across the yard to the house. Erin was hanging the wash, and Buck slowed down as he passed her. Emma observed the two share a shy smile. Both seemed to light up whenever the other was around, and they were always gravitating toward each other. _It was that way even before the social last night_, Emma noted.

Buck sped up and approached the house with an expression that Emma could only describe as grim determination. _I wonder what is going on_. Buck's strides were purposeful, but he seemed to be steeling himself for something. _I bet I know what this is about_, Emma thought with a chuckle. _He's come to ask me if he can court Erin._

Emma didn't want to let Buck know she had been watching and had guessed the purpose of his visit. Emma ducked her head and began peeling the apples as Buck walked in.

An air of anxiety surrounded Buck. Emma could swear he was slightly shaking.

"Well, hello Buck, you're a little early for supper. Looking for a snack?"

"No ma'am…" Buck trailed off with frozen look on his face.

Emma took pity on him. _The poor boy! He's never done this before!_ The Riders may not have been her sons, but they were the closest thing to children she had.

"Buck, have a seat."

Buck sat down in the nearest chair. Emma could swear she could she beads of sweat forming on his upper lip.

"Now, I am always glad to see you, but I have a feeling there's a purpose to today's visit. Am I right?"

Buck tried to speak, but all that escaped his mouth has a high-pitched noise_. The child's lost his ability to speak!_ Emma decided to continue guiding Buck, since he obviously couldn't do this on his own.

"What's the purpose of today's visit, Buck?"

Buck sat frozen, his eyes wide.

"Take a deep breath." Buck somehow found enough presence of mind to follow directions. Inhaling deeply, he tried to wait for Emma's next words, but felt the panic overcome him again.

"And let it out."

"Buck."

"Buck!"

"Buck! Let the air out. Breathe!"

"BUCK YOU'RE GOING TO PASS OUT! BREATHE!"

By the time he began to breathe normally again, Buck's entire face had turned bright red. He looked like a toddler who threw a tantrum by holding his breath. A few minutes passed.

"Now Buck, why did you come to see me?" After that disaster, she was frightened to give any directions regarding breathing.

_It's now or never._ Buck thought. _Think of how much you love Erin and how much you want her to be your girl. Asking Emma is the next-to-last obstacle to courting Erin, so you'd better make this good. Be respectful, intelligent, patient, confident—but not over confident. Oh dear spirits, what if I come off as too confident! What will I do if Emma says no? I love Erin!_

"I love Erin!"

Emma's brows arched. She certainly hadn't expected that confession, and from the look of Buck's face, neither had he. Buck had cringed and looked in pain, but the blunder had helped him begin to talk. He tried to remember Ike's advice as he began to ramble.

"I, uh, I…Well, I do love Erin but I don't want to scare you but I guess since you know now, I should just confess it. I want Erin to get to know her better, and I want to know me better, and..wait, that's not the way it goes!". Steeling his nerves, Buck prayed to the spirits for strength.

"I really like, no, I love Erin. I want her to have the chance to get to know me better and I want to get to know her better. I want your blessing to ask her if I can court her."

Emma stared at Buck. Up to this point she had thought Buck would have an aneurysm before he could eloquently confess his purpose for being in her kitchen in the middle of the afternoon. Her stare must have made Buck uncomfortable, for he gave a little cough. Emma automatically rose from her chair and poured Buck a glass of water.

Buck dreaded hearing Emma's answer. With her staring, he could only surmise that she was shocked and was hesitant to tell him "no" lest she hurt his feelings. Buck knew Emma loved all of them and would never do anything to hurt any of them.

Handing Buck the water, Emma looked thoughtful. "Did you practice that speech?"

Swallowing, Buck answered her sheepishly. "Some of it."

"Well, you have my permission and my blessing."

Buck couldn't help it—he jumped from his chair, excitement pouring from his countenance.

"Really?!"

Emma nodded, blushing a little herself. She hadn't expected Buck to be so excited.

"Let me tell her first that you asked."

Buck felt some of his excitement deflate. _No matter, I am sure Erin will say yes. After all, she was encouraging last night at the dance and afterward. _

Buck pushed that thought to the side. He didn't need to go blurting that tidbit out to Emma.

"I'll talk to Erin this evening after supper, but don't you worry, said Emma. "I have it on good authority that she'll say yes."

Buck smiled. His thoughts drifted to all he wanted to do with Erin. Go on picnics. Long walks. He couldn't wait to walk around town with her on his arm. _She's so wonderful, and I am so very proud of her. She's so kind and smart and talented…_

"BUCK!"

Buck came back to reality: He was standing in Emma's kitchen making a fool of himself.

"Well, I'll talk to Erin in the morning after breakfast. You can let me know of she is alright with me asking."

Emma smiled. "I'll do that, Buck."

Buck gave her another smile and headed out the door. Crossing the yard, he gave Erin a confident smile. _I'll actually plan on asking her tonight. I'll visit her room after everyone else leaves and convince her to go for a walk. We'll be under the moonlight…Spirits, please let her say yes!_

* * *

_Buck_, thought Erin. In the mirror, she could see how huge her grin was as warmth and excitement spread through her body. Throwing down her hairbrush, she grabbed her shawl and headed toward the window.

_Tap, tap, tap_. Erin opened the curtains to find Buck waiting on her, his hand poised in the air to tap on the window again.

"Impatient, are we?" she said flirtatiously.

"Very, milady," Buck returned with his own grin. "Come for a walk with me."

"Very well, good sir. I shall accompany you this fine evening."

After helping Erin through the window, Buck took her hand and lead her away from the house.

"Where are we going?"

"To the maple tree. There's something I want to ask you."

If she hadn't been walking, Erin would have bounced with joy. _Buck is going to ask if he can court me!_

"What do you want to ask me?" Erin was giddy with excitement.

Buck was drunk on his own anticipation. "You'll see when we get to the maple tree."

Laughing, Erin dropped Buck's hand and ran ahead to the tree. The moon shown, bright and full, behind her, illuminating the prairie.

Buck's breath caught. In the moonlight, he could see every curve of Erin's silhouette beneath her nightdress. He felt his eyes close for a few seconds before he opened them again to confirm what he saw was real and not all in his head. _Dear spirits,_ _please one day let her allow me to touch her. _

Reaching the tree, Buck took Erin's hand in his.

"And what would you like to ask me, good sir?"

Erin lost her playfulness when she saw how serious Buck looked. She couldn't tell if he was frightened of her possible answer, or intimidated by asking. Softening her features, she let Buck know how she felt.

"You have nothing to be nervous about," she said, her voice low. She gave Buck a reassuring smile.

Buck took a deep breath. "Erin Kelley, you are the kindest woman I have ever met. You always try to see the best in people, and you try to be the best person you can be. I was so surprised yesterday when you asked me to dance. It was everything I thought would never happen. I would like us to get to know each other better, so I asked Emma if I could have her blessing to ask you if I can court you. So, Erin Kelley, may I please court you?"

Erin saw stars. She had dreamed of Buck saying those words but never though they would come true. She felt tears coming own before she banished them to the back of her mind. This was not a time for tears, even ones of happiness. She didn't want to scare Buck away.

"Yes, you may court me." Somehow, she managed to keep her voice from shaking.

Buck expression turned joyful.

"Yes?"

"Yes."

Buck gave a whoop of joy before grabbing Erin and kissing her. Suddenly he pulled away as if stung by a wasp. It was so sudden, Erin actually gasped.

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't ask first if I could kiss you. I don't ever want to do something you don't want me to."

Erin smiled, her heart melting. It seemed every day, every _conversation_, she fell a little more in love with this man.

"I'm happy when you kiss me. I give you permission to not ask permission. I will let you know if I don't want you to kiss me."

Buck grinned and inched closer.

"So I can do this," he said, pecking her on the lips.

"Yes," Erin replied.

"This?" he asked, giving her a soft, long kiss.

"Yes," Erin whispered.

"How about this?" Buck asked as he gave her the most passionate kiss of her life. Their heads turned left and right as they attempted to get as close to each other as possible.

"Oh yes," Erin breathed, her breath coming in short puffs.

Buck gave her a satisfied grin.

"I'll remember that."


	20. Chapter 20

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER 20**

* * *

Buck had never liked Grady O'Hara. There was something about the man that made Buck's skin crawl. Grady had never made a comment about sharing a bunkhouse with an Indian when he stopped at the Sweetwater station, but Buck still saw his hesitation. Still, Grady was a fellow Pony Express rider and had at least treated Buck politely, so he tried his best to be positive around the man.

Buck's attitude changed the moment Grady laid his eyes on Erin. Buck was familiar with the glazed over eyes and jaw dropped in awe—he had seen his fellow Riders like this the night she arrived and was pretty sure he himself had worn that look for a few days. Grady, however, snapped his mouth closed and his eyes took on a predatory look.

Buck decided then and there that Grady was now his mortal enemy.

That evening at supper, everywhere Erin went Grady's eyes followed. His eyes traveled up and down her body, and at several times Buck saw Grady openly leering when he thought no one was looking. His voice also took on an oily tone when speaking to Erin. He looked quite pleased when she smiled back at him, but Buck could tell it was an uncomfortable smile.

It was time to put an end to this.

* * *

After dinner, Buck sought out Grady, finally locating him in the barn. As Buck entered the barn, he discovered Grady and Cody's backs to him. They were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn't even hear Buck enter.

"You'd better watch yourself."

"Why? That's one pretty gal in there! I'm going to try my best to get her to notice me!"

"She's not available for courting."

"Says who? Mrs. Shannon?"

"No, says her fella."

"She's got a fella? Who is it? Jimmy?"

Buck gritted his teeth. _Why does Jimmy's name always come up when Erin's does?_

"She's Buck's girl."

Buck felt offended at Grady's gasp. Why was it so hard to believe that Erin was his girl? _Well, I guess if you count me being Indian, it is kind of shocking._

"You're kidding me!"

Buck gritted his teeth as Cody shook his head.

"Well, I guess a lot of men would never go near her after allowing herself to be courted by an Indian, but I can make an exception."

Cody shook his head again. "If you want to do what is decent, you'll treat her with respect and stay away. Or if you just want to keep your hide intact, stay away."

"What? I ain't scared of no Injun! What's he going to do, scalp me? They'll know for sure who killed me then!"

"If Buck had stayed with his tribe, he would have become a Kiowa warrior by now. If that doesn't scare you away, then there's something else you should consider."

"What's that?"

Cody stood up straight.

"Me. I don't take to kindly to a man who makes my friend feel uncomfortable with his smile and the looks he gives her. And I certainly don't like it when he disrespects my friend and his girl."

Buck felt a surge of pride and gratitude.

"Really? And what are you going to do about it? You and me, I think I'll come out the winner. You're a little too scrawny for me!"

Buck stepped forward.

"He won't be alone," Buck said calmly. "Even though he could more than handle you himself," he added.

Grady flinched at the look in Buck's eyes. Taking a step back, he couldn't resist twisting a knife.

"You know Cody has a thing for your girl, right?" he sneered.

Cody colored, and Buck felt angry. _Of course I know that._

"I don't blame him and I don't care. Now get out of my sight."

Grady turned on his heel and stormed out of the barn.

Buck turned to Cody.

"Buck, I'm sorry—"

"Don't worry Cody. I don't blame you, and I know how lucky I am that she chose me."

Cody gave a sheepish smile.

"Thanks."

* * *

Erin was peeling potatoes for that evening's supper when Grady stormed in.

"What are you thinking?" he demanded.

Erin's hand stopped in the air, knife poised to peel.

"Excuse me?"

"What are you thinking?!"

"What are you talking about?"

Grady looked around as if making sure no one would overhear a secret.

"Letting an Injun court you!" he whispered.

"Is that what this is about? Me and Buck courting?"

Grady made a shushing noise. "Not so loud! Someone will hear and know!"

Erin made a noise of impatience.

"Look, I'm only going to say this once. I am not at all ashamed of being courted by Buck. He asked and I accepted. I had been hoping he'd ask for a while. As for all this whispering, yes my aunt knows, and yes she gave her blessing. The only one who has a problem with us courting is obviously you!"

Grady looked shocked. He walked closer to Erin, a blank look on his face. He didn't stop until he was standing right in front of her. He stood and stared for a few moments. Erin met his eye and refused to look away.

Reaching out to caress her cheek, Grady finally spoke. In a husky voice he asked, "What's a pretty little white girl like you doing letting a filthy, nasty half-breed touch her?"

Erin jerked her head away from his hand.

"Keep talking and I'll show you how filthy and nasty _I _can be with this _knife_."

Grady seemed to notice the knife in Erin's hand for the first time. He slowly backed away with his hands raised. He had no doubt she'd do it. _And being courted by a savage there's no telling what she knows how to do_, he thought.

The pair stared at each other for a moment. Erin spoke, breaking the silence.

"You'd better get out of here."

Grady kept staring, not moving.

Erin raised her voice. "I said go on! Now get!" She jerked her head toward the door.

Grady ran out of the kitchen.


	21. Chapter 21

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER 21**

**:**

Buck Cross checked his reflection in the bunkhouse mirror one last time. He thought he looked alright, but his smile was a little crooked. _It doesn't matter what I think, it only matters what _she _thinks_, he thought. _Then again, she is still so afraid of Indians I don't think any of this probably matters_. Buck frowned at his face in the mirror.

Erin Kelley, Emma's nice, was the most beautiful girl Buck had ever seen, and he liked her spirit even more. The only thing was, he could only observe that spirit from afar as all she did was stammer and blush around him. Buck had encountered people who were afraid of Indians before, and it was always an unfortunate situation. _At least she doesn't throw mud on me_.

Gathering his vest and hat, Buck began his walk across the yard to the main house. The others had gone ahead for breakfast, but he made the excuse that he had forgotten something so he could look in the mirror one last time. Walking with strong, confident strides, he entered the kitchen and found himself face-to-face with Erin.

_She's so pretty_, he thought, as he saw the red bloom on her cheeks. _I'll try again today. In fact, I'll keep trying because she's worth it, even if I just have her for a friend_. He gave what he hoped was a warm smile.

"Good morning."

Erin's gaze dropped to the floor.

"G-good morning."

Buck felt himself deflate and knew his smile was slipping from his face. _One day_, he thought, giving Erin a nod when she found the courage to look up. She looked embarrassed. _At least she's trying. At least she's talking to me. _Moving to his place at the table, he sat down and picked up his fork.

_Wait a minute! My knife and fork are on my left side? _Buck was shocked_. Who did this? Everyone always puts them on my right, despite the fact that they know I'm left-handed. Is this some kind of joke? Who set the table this morning?_

_Oh. Erin did._

_Erin!_

_She noticed something about me! She's been watching me!_ Buck felt a wave of pride rising in his spine but quickly silenced it. _She's trying to make amends. Erin knows she's been standoffish to me and she's trying to make up for it._

Buck shot a look down the table at Erin. She was taking her place by Cody and Emma. After she sat, he saw her head turn in his direction. Hurriedly, he picked up his fork and starting eating his breakfast. He hoped she hadn't noticed his staring.

_She's trying to get to know me. This is a big step, her being afraid of Indians and all._

Buck couldn't help but smile at his eggs.


	22. Chapter 22

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER OF ERIN

**NUMBER 22**

**:**

Sometimes Buck cross wished his girl wasn't so beautiful.

_Well, not "not so beautiful," as much as just not as noticed by other men_, Buck clarified to himself. Going to town was always a trial of patience as it seemed every man was eager to open doors for her, give her a smile, strike up a conversation, and heaven forbid she accidentally drop something. They all clamored to pick up the last parcel that hit the ground. It didn't matter that she was on Buck's arm—they all ignored him anyway.

Usually, being involved with an Indian would be enough to make the town shun her, but Erin was an exception. _She is so kind it radiates from her_, Buck thought with admiration. At least, she had never complained of being shamed, Buck realized with a frown.

* * *

Erin Kelly hummed to herself as she strolled up the boardwalk to the milliner's shop. She and her Aunt Emma had run to town to visit the preacher's wife, who had finally delivered twins. They brought enough food with them to keep the young family from having to cook for themselves for a few days.

Emma was still visiting with the preacher's wife when Erin slipped out. She knew she should have stayed longer, but she was restless and needed to stretch her legs. _Besides, Aunt Emma didn't seem to mind when I asked to leave. _As Erin walked, she spied Cynthia Granger a few yards ahead, talking with another girl their age. Although they barely knew each other, Erin liked Cynthia. They had clicked from the moment they met, and always enjoyed visiting with each other when they ran into each other in town.

"Cynthia!"

Cynthia turned her head in Erin's direction. Then, she abruptly returned to her conversation.

_She must not have seen me_, Erin thought. She walked even quicker to reach her friend.

"Cynthia!"

This time Cynthia and the other girl didn't look in her direction but rather turned and walked the other way. Erin practically ran to catch up with them. Reaching Cynthia, she grasped her shoulder and turned her around.

"Cynthia! I've been calling and calling you, but you must not have heard me! How are you doing? I've missed you and I was hoping …"

Erin's voice trailed off as she saw the expression on Cynthia's face. It was one of disgust. Erin looked quickly at her companion and saw revulsion there as well.

"I heard you and I want you stay away from me. I don't associate with people like you!"

Erin was confused. Just last month she and Cynthia had strolled up and down the boardwalk, arm in arm, discussing the handsome gentlemen in town. Erin knew Cynthia had a crush on Abel Messir, and, according to Cynthia, _no one_ else knew that.

"Wh-what do you mean? I don't understand."

Cynthia heatedly shrugged Erin's hand off of her shoulder.

"People with no decency or morals." Cynthia's face contorted into a sneer. "Girls who associate themselves with _Indians_."

"What? What's going on, Cynthia? Just a month ago—"

"Just a month ago I didn't know who you really are. Have you no _decency_? Have you no _shame_?"

Erin felt her temper flare. Who did Cynthia think she was?

"Look, I'm sorry that you don't like that Buck is courting me—"

Both girls drew their breath in sharply, their mouths agape and glancing at each other.

"—but he is the most honorable, wonderful, and _decent_ person I've ever met!"

Cynthia stood staring at her in disbelief. Erin suddenly noticed the lack of movement around them and realized that bystanders stood by, staring at her with disgust on their faces.

"Erin," Cynthia whispered. "I was talking about the dance, but now you're _courting_? I thought you were better than that."

The girl with Cynthia shook her head. "Let's go, Cynthia, before we get dirty just talking to her."

Cynthia turned, but not before she whispered to Erin, just loud enough for only her to hear.

"Whore!"

It was Erin's turn to draw her breath. The bystanders began to walk away, giving her as wide berth as possible. Erin looked around at their faces when they left, looks of hatred now mingling with disgust. _They look like they think they'll catch something if they get too close to me. _Some of the men, she noticed with fear, were openly leering at her. She felt her own repugnance as their eyes roamed over her body.

Erin felt tears prick behind her eyes. _These are people I thought were my_ _friends_! Suddenly Erin noticed an old woman walking toward her. The woman's lips were pursued together, as if she were about to—

Erin managed to close her eyes before the woman spit on her. Dodging to the side, she felt the liquid land on her arm.

"Injun-loving whore!" the woman grumbled as she walked past.

Erin's shoulders were hunched and she knew her mouth was open as the woman walked away. She felt her breath coming in ragged gasps. _Someone spit on me_! The tears that she felt threatening to fall now spilled down her cheeks. Turning, she ran back to the parsonage and tip-toed through the back door into the kitchen. All she could think about was getting the woman's spit off of her. Spying a dry cloth and a pail of water, she set to cleaning her arm.

_Someone spit on me! All because I love Buck and he is Indian! I can't believe this!_ Erin felt a well of hurt rise in her heart as she choked on her tears.

_Calm down! Crying won't solve a thing!_

Erin took deep breaths to steady herself. _Should I tell Aunt Emma? No, she'd go find the woman and give her a piece of her mind and that won't do. _Erin felt a surge of love as she thought of her aunt and how protective she was.

Dipping another dry cloth in the water, Erin wiped her eyes. As she did, she thought about how Buck had once said the townspeople spit on him and threw mud on him. _This is nothing compared to the treatment he gets_, she thought. That realization sent more tears down her cheeks.

Erin knew being with Buck would be hard, and she had a decision to make. Should she continue her relationship with Buck and face this sort of treatment, or should she move on to show she was "decent"? Her answer came to her immediately—_He's worth everything, and I will just have to live with people's ignorance. Words will not hurt me, and I guess spit won't either. _A dry chuckle escaped her lips as Emma walked into the kitchen with Mrs. Stanton, the preacher's wife.

"Erin, are you okay?" Emma asked, concern etched upon on face. "Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been crying?"

Erin knew it was useless to deny she had been. She hastily thought up an excuse as she wiped her face.

"I was just thinking of home and my father and got a little teary."

"A little? Are you sure?"

Erin gave a good-natured sigh. "Of course, Aunt Emma. You worry too much," she affectionally chided.

Emma smiled. "I guess so. Anyway, it's time to leave so we can get home to make supper for Mr. Spoon and the boys."

Turning, she gave a goodbye hug to Mrs. Stanton. Erin waved and the two set off. As she climbed into the wagon, Erin saw Emma take out her Colt revolver and lay it across her lap.

"You know, I love having you here, but if you want to go back home it's okay," Emma ventured with a gentle voice. "I'll get you a ticket on the stage, and write your father—"

"No!" Erin quickly responded. She spoke from her heart. "I'm not going anywhere. This is my home now."

Emma smiled.


End file.
